fears
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I'm going insane.Ifeel I can't breathe.Because no matter where I go, snow, hail, or rainI feel like someone's watching me just down the lane. Blood always pounds in my ears.I can always picture my darkest fears.
When I was little
I ensured everyone I had the loudest scream
One that would shake the world
I could feel it brewing up inside me
Begging for an escape
But I wouldn't
They always told me
"You write too much"
So, I stopped.
At the dinner table,
They'd silence me
With their glaring eyes.
And all I could do was painfully smile
It's confusing being mixed.What I look like, and my experiences,they don't line up with a typical anything.I am not European-American,I am not Puerto Rican,I am an amalgamation of these things, and more.
What is it about the night that makes people so scraed?
Is it because of the fact that they know that if something bad were to happen, they would not be sparred?
Insecure is my default! When the caffeine
has worn out,and my bravadohas been questioned...I tend to tuck tail and run
Leap like a frogWho knows he’s inCajun territory
Let’s play a game
He said as he started his claim to fame
Stepping into my room like I had asked him to
Almost four years old, crying over a thunderstorm
When I was twelve I asked my mother if
I could go bungee jumping. She said
NO. But she let me go paragliding.
I took the chance.
When you look at me, what do you see?
I'm a girl who's full of Humanity.
I'm someone who fights for what's right,
And does no harm so I can sleep at night.
Do you see who I am? Do you really see,
My fear is in being reminded that I have nothing more to offer than myself, and throughout time that has never been enough for anyone, including my family. I’ve never been enough for anyone.
Stop counting those calories, storm. You look fine.
I know, and I've got it under control.
Eat your food. You're scaring me.
I've got it under control.
If you can, try to eat twice a day.
Why am I afarid of spiders, being murdered, and have massive fear of going blind?
I believe it has something to do in my past life...
I daydream daily
I know it sounds crazy
I feel it in my fingertips, in my bones
Yet so far, so vaguely.
I’m scared.
Scared? I mean terrified
yet I do recognize
Look me in my eyes and tell me what you see
Tell me anything except a girl with a broken family
You can say you see a crazy lunatic
Just don't poke any deeper with your therapist stick
Come out of your shell little one,
Time will tell when you are done.
Words you sing for all to hear,
A song with get you there.
This song you sing is not for just you,
The team will hear and free you.
Who cares what others say?
They only want to ruin your day.
Nevermind what the haters say, just ignore them until they fade away.
I used to think, what if they are right?
Then I realized, they had no right.
A bird with a broken wing
Its memory of greatness;
A stretched canvas of warm embrace
Air cut by swift blades of persistence
Unobtainable freedom by many,
While the few idolize their grasp of identity:
Intermission has failed me.
A trip wire was not part of my blocking-
It left me on my knees.
Broadway lights, turning off with a loud
Shunk
In the time it grew it had become a beast
Building in it's anguish and defeat
Crawling and clawing toward a weak feast
Till friends cut a strand so it couldn't eat.
Each strand fell to the tiles with a soft sound
Today I looked into the mirror my reflection couldn't be clearer
I saw the girl from the past teary eyed and oh so sad
messy hair like I just don't care dark circles hoping for a miracle
The letters across my back
shout the truth so urgently
so vividly that no one can deny.
The world so clearly seen from behind.
But in the front, a hollering silence
fills the void, even those of gifted ears
All I do is get on your nerves...
Make you feel bad and make you hate me...
My friends are anger, anxiety.. oh and well... fear.
It is my safe haven.
The place in which my soul retreats
To relax
To recharge
To think.
It allows me to ponder
And wonder
Dear _______,
I won’t give you a name.
You know who you are
And I know, too.
I’m trying to forget.
I’m trying to let go of the
Little obstacles I’ve been through.
When I’m judged every day evidently
And I come to think my mother was right How could I ever live genuinely
Could I ever be loved for just one night;
Dear Fear,
I was told by a character in a cute little movie that you used caution to keep me safe—
—So please explain to me why I’m scared of sharks in my swimming pool.
Dear Savannah,
It's okay to be afraid.
And it's okay that you don't know what you're doing with your life.
Most people don't have it figured out.
Life is scary.
Not disappointing people is hard,
Dear My Biggest Fear,
What are you?
This question has been lurking in my mind for quite some time now,
So I thought I'd just ask you upfront- what the hell are you?
Dear Death,
Why are you so unpredictable? You can strike with little-to-no warning,
or you can lay dormant for years. You'll wait in the shadows until something
I am afraid of the dark and falling and those shadows you see in the corner of your eye.
And all of these fears probably stem from that time when I was young,
It is a dark night.
There is hardly any light
Besides the moon, which can be a fright.
I feel the whoosh of the breeze.
The temperature is as thought I might freeze.
I would rather drown in makeup and my own tears before you called me ugly again.
I would rather face my own fears before you made new ones in my head again.
I would rather sleep alone before you laid cold in my bed again.
For one does not know the meaning of love
Until one has fallen captive
For now, they think of only the other
And how it all had happened
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of the dark.
I'm afraid of horses.
I'm afraid of heights.
I'm afraid of drowning.
I'm afraid of death.
Did you know there's a tiny
immeasurable space between everything?
No matter how close you are to something,
you'll never actually be touching.
Looking around I wonder if what I see is truly there.
If the things you lead me to believe are true;
Listening half-heartedly to conversations I wonder if what I am hearing is just the sounds of the dead
Dead thoughts
I'm sick of waiting
for the world to pass on judgement.
I'm sick of waiting for its punishment.
I'm sick of being afraid of what is to come
whether it is ot bring joy
or if it is to bring tradgedy.
I don't quite know how to tell you,
tell you about what goes through my skull,
when your eyes light up like neon street lights,
in a city all too far away,
I don't know what to say,
I awoke to a loud bang as my room was filled with the
Flashing blue and white lights.
This was normal in my life because my parents loved to fight.
My father while high had beat my mother because she was a "bother".
What is worse than breaking a promise,
One you made to a friend?
Breaking the one you made to yourself.
I made myself a promise long ago,
When the world seemed open
That I would be okay.
Perhaps I will never open this book again
But if I ever do
I'll be honest
I'll be truthful
As I flip through the pages again
I'll regret the choices I made
I'll regret the words I erased
If the world were to crash and burn,
And all life ceased to exist.
What would be my biggest concern?
What one thing, I could not resist?
With not a caring soul or a comforting sound
I should have fears.I should be afraid of heights, I should be afraid of closed spaces,I should be afraid of bears.But the problem is ¨I should¨¨I should be afraid of ghosts .I´m not. I´m not of afraid of heights, I´m not afraid of closed spaces,I
The minds of this generation Are twistedBullying and tormentingWarp the brain Thought processes Become muddyParanoia settles inThe walls creep closerAdolescents get nervous
I,
have issues.
But probably not the kind you think.
Mine were created by my father and big sister.
Fears are what make people humans
Heights, Spiders, Storms
My fears make me awesome
I fear storms and unexpected changes
It’s the small things,
Like fears that define us
Darkness engulfs,clouded by despair.Surrounding the peacefulness,eroding it from within.Discontent follows,maddened by grief.Unpleasantly distraught,lacking true desire.
Are you afraid of the dark?
Of silence
Of stillness
Of nothingness
The vast emptiness
U try to make out shapes in the blank space
Can you see it
I see everything
She was in a theater
Where the chairs were uncomfortable and mushed together
It was so crowded, people around her kept elbowing each other
“Oh I’m sorry, oh I’m sorry” they replied
Everyone was talking at once
When I was a child I heard a voice
It was soft and low, maybe an evil tone
At the time, how was I supposed to know?
When I was a child I played with shadows
I have a fear of ladders
I use to have this reoccurring dream
I would be standing on top of a ladder and it would start falling
Falling back and there was nothing I could do
Curtains
I hide from myself
From the fears
The doubts
The insecurity
I show a different me
A me that is confident
Joyful
Loving
Depression creeps into my heart,
Restraining blood flow from the start.
Can't breathe nor think straight.
Tears, that I have come to hate,
Descend as I began to fall apart.
the mirror needs to be dirtier
if I feel like I can touch my reflection
as if it were another person
the mirror needs to be dirtier
if I am scared of what I see
the mirror needs to be dirtier
Today I say good morning to the sun!
Usually it is the sun that wakes me up every single day.
But today is special...
At six a.m. it is I smiling down as the Sun
Stirred from his deep, deep slumber.
Darkness isn't always bad.
Darkness doesn't make you mad
Darkness isn't always wrong
It shouldn't be feared upon.
It is a normal phenomenon in our world
I am a dystopia whose fault line you are just waiting to fracture,
Splintering me into chaotic shards,
The world tells me on that sunshine tulip-coated poster:
“You must love yourself before anyone can love you”
The ceiling is empty when it comes to answers
but what else am I to look up to?
My mind is on overdrive
i am the highest of highs
the lowest of lows.
my heart?
fucking shattered
splintered wood in shipwrecks.
i am no longer alive
breathing
you press roses into your wrists and hope the sweet smell mends the broken skin back together.
plant daisies in the ashes of your burnt out thoughts,
this is all too much.
She cries when no one is watching
She acts like everything is okay
She lets you think that she is strong
When deep down inside she's nothing but torn
She keeps her distance
I suffer, sudden onset of anxiety
Whenever the spotlight falls to me
It causes my breath to catch,
And words to stick in my throat
Desperate to crawl back
To the deep recess of my gut
Finally this world is dark. I don’t have to see. I don’t have to see them. Those. Those eyes. Your eyes.
She stands there quietly
Trying to fight down the fear
She’s next in line, next to audition
Hoping she makes it to the end
She’s biting her lip, worried she’ll forget
A single word or a whole line
My mother of Resolution
A mother of hope
A listener of wisdom
My detective of crime
Understanding of all imperfections
Loving, caring, compassionate
i admire the crayons
for no matter how you push
or how hard the pressure
they'll pick themselves up
and cling to their other
i admire the crayons
for when in times of stress
they melt together
Tick, tick tockthe bell rings, startling meStep, step, tapmy shoes moving swiftly through the hallwaysNotebooks, pencils, paperOn every students desk
Will have an answer to all my questions
and I can't hardly understand my heart.
All the ways that I have expressed myself
is draining me...
Eventually, I fall down and cry.
Overlooking the ripples from a pier far above,
I hear a distant roar of the waves that I love.
The sound hits my ears like a baseball hits the glove.
The Dawning- An Original Poem by Catelin Haight
Time marches on,
Or so I'm told
This Body is young
Remember that age of 7
It was so tender
Remember that age of 7
A bandage was a mender.
Those days are long gone
That youthful age
Those days are long gone
Are we even on the same page?
There is a sadness that grows inside of me somtimes.
Almost like water. Almost like him.
It crashes through the shore and breaks through the sand.
At times It can take down cities; its destroyed many lands.
Dead man walking
Sentened by the boss
Look who's talking
Sorry for the loss
Dead man walking
We'll get there somehow
But where are we now?
Let's get rolling
Running.
running.
Always running.
Never back.
Only forward.
Never down.
Only up.
Running.
Always running.
From the past.
To the future.
From the street.
A small glimmer dancing over a shoulder
Is the only thing battling this darkness
A heavy load of anticipation
Weighs wearily on my lungs
And strangles the air from my throat
When it comes to kids throughout all schools,
I notice a special treatment to some who very blindly act as fools,
While others sit and study trying so desprately to build up there name,
I am the product of a child never left alone...You see I am what a teacher taught me 3 years ago was possible, you see me I am what my 5th grade teacher wrote in the pavement me for me to be, and that path I crossed over last week is the cement wr
They say that school is a must.
You miss it you're a bust.
To fail is certainly wrong.
But school is just so long.
You must conform to societies needs.
Those who differ will not succeed.
Lying on a bed
Surrounded by white walls,
I feel the physical throbbing,
Which makes me go insane.
Bright lights and bustling people,
Pain and pills,
IVs and insomnia.
Do I dare risk
Stepping into the unknown?
With warm spring air and flowers
To guide me home,
Or a dark winter’s night
That makes my soul cower?
Will the warmth be there one day
What do you do when all of your fears come true?
When you want to run and hide
But the only place to be alone is in your mind
You take out a pen and paper & write as you cry
The day is waiting here it comes.
Don't feed me the lies you love so much.
Just leave me to run with my fears.
The tears are coming,
False friends dying,
You never feel strong enough
Expected to be prepared in every class, "it is key to pass," say all the teachers to the mass, I have one question to ask, how can you expect us to be prepared with every task, when you forget to write it upon the board where it will bask, under t
Forethought to the Audience: I am so tired of students being so ignorant in class and not taking their learning seriously. I'm tired of teachers having no backbone, and allowing the students to dominate the class.
Give me liberty or give me death.
They taught me that, but I can’t even take a breath.
They stare with distaste,
that test was an accident please don’t hate.
Bags under her eyes, but ever alert
Sleep was a luxury she can't afford.
Always moving and never staying long
Trying to look to the future,
but the darkness of the past blocks her way.
What is school? A mystery.
Why am I learning about History?
Geography? Art?
Building my brain to be so-called "smart."
To be educated, responsible, dependable.
Like a piece of clay i'm mendable.
You just don't know who you may fear the world will some day know
Your fears comes and goes but never slows you wonder should you let them show
but there's a feeling deep inside that want let you decide
A side-street district sleeps to the beat of the heated city streets
Where the dirt on the windows can’t even be seen
Where the shades of grey and denizens of the night kick their heels
I want to be someone
Worthwhile to follow
Who’s strong and un-scareable
But soft and not hollow.
I’ll rule how I want
With my people behind,
But keep ‘em all happy
By treating ‘em kind.
I come from a long line of Scots
The kind that drink and hate
Their failed dreams
The kind that love
With hitting and name-calling
The kind that don’t change
Death on the Thunderbolt
Splashing kids,
Soaking water,
Fun for all,
Excitement fills the air.
Go cart racing,
"Hey! Remember me?No?Come on! Don’t you recognize me? Your best bud since that quiet scary night in 93. You were just a babe, remember, sleeping in the dark? When I swept in like a clever snake and crept into your heart.
Time enchants her victim, begs me near to sharp being…Wraps round frail shoulders as she tickles porcelain cheek.
Another day, another place,
Time to put on my happy face.
Paint my smile, erase my tears,
Reveal to none my greatest fears.
Beause there's something coming,
Something better,
A lush, green landscape with leaves and trees abound
After a spring time rain, water covers the ground
In the distance I see 3 freestanding doors
The task: Pick just one.
Someone once asked me the question,
“What are your fears and your dreams?”
The future is so uncertain
Although there are days that it’s all I think about.
Where will I be?
What will I be doing?
& more importantly who will be there?
It’s crazy…
It's too hot,
It's too cold,
I'm tired,
I don't want to go.
All excuses
to escape and hide
from your fears and failures
but what is really the thing
Fake moments lead to real feelings
But can we separate the two?
Why kid ourselves
when we've got careers to do.
Today is a brand new day,
A new day to find strength,
Strength to over come fears,
Strength to fulfill our dreams
As we get closer to our dreams,
Our strength comes out,
To overthrow obstacles,
Dear Mr. Marine,
I'm praying for your safety,
Don't fill my worst of fears.
Even though I am strong,
there's a river-perpetual tears.
Love,
Your daughter
1. Peeing in public restrooms
I have never been
so paranoid.
At Starbucks I will check the lock three times
and even then
I might just have to hold it in.
2. Spiders
they’re just scary
I took a vow of silence,
I've decided not to speak.
I've created a philosophy,
speaking makes one weak.
