Doubt

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I'm obsessed,Obsessed with death.  I love to picture my own end. Will it be by my own hands?An enemy's? Will I be a hero? Or will I grow old?   I'm obsessed,
At thirteen my heart had never been broken I was still dreaming big dreams And I was still outspoken I sided with hope having no concept of doubt
To make up for deficiencies Lacking or discrepancies To fix or make anew What's broke and disagrees with you. "But I haven't sinned!" I hear you cry "It went that way alone, awry!"
Could You September 11, 2018 ~ Tuesday I’m gripping tightly Onto that which makes me all I ever was and needed The words I heard and heeded
Liked by many though I still feel alone, Surrounded by others but still trecking on my own. they try to understand my pain but they have different trials, though no one truly hurts me death begins to beguile.
Iram, Lost Iram Lost, alone, and wandered scars Scrutinizing time Thunders rise and soon take flight Tinted skies with essence sighs  
Iram, Lost Iram Lost, alone, and wandered scars Scrutinizing time Thunders rise and soon take flight Tinted skies with essence sighs  
Thank you for this life A life where shadows sing Where losses are seen as gains Where I can have a vision for everything   Thank you for this life A life where notes can speak
Perhaps it was all a dream Perhaps it was my life unfulfilled 
Hanging from the edge of the world A grip on this reality waning A river in flight and a flowing sky   An upside down My celestial home
Him
Him. I imagined him.  He held me. How nice it was. His kiss was power. His flaws belonged to me. His losses drained me. I lost a part of who I was. I became cold and rigid. I began to doubt.
Standing lone, in this world turn dark- Looking round, seeing no way out. Realizing life, has been cloaked with doubt. Those you called friends, no longer seem real. Thoughts in your mind, now surreal.
I feel like I'm giving it all I've got I feel like I'm giving nothing at all Others give so much more Under worse circumstances Maybe my soul is just smaller And I don't have as much to give
To the one who doesn’t feel like their enough, or worth it, or accepted. Not beautiful, Or enough, Or loved. I have a secret to tell you. It isn’t whispered but shouted.
Dearest Doubt,  I hope you are doing well. I say that only because it is impolite to write a letter without proper introduction. What I mean to say is this: You have followed me my entire life,
Dear Doubt,   Thanks for clouding my mind. Making my ambitions blind.  You know how to break me down. Leaving me breathless and grasping for life. I had a panic attack because you! You bitch!
Dear me, You’ll regret this you know.Letting time slip by;it’ll pass in a flash.You’re leaving soon. You’ll hate this you know.All these hours you workfor a chance at more school.You’ll be there soon. You’ll doubt this you know.The path you have c
P a t h w a y s        By: SeemsPoetic   I can feel it in my heart I'm already slowing dying  In my mind…
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Dear Kayla,   I can’t make you walk on flower trails. I can’t force you to see only the good things. To promise you
Dear Me, I know that sometimes life can be a big stress. The things that you will experience can forsure make you digress, from the path in life that you thought would be best.
Dear God, Can you hear me? People say you hear everything, but are you listening? I have some questions to ask you, and words I want to share. So please, listen to me.
Dear Dubiety,    I wish to promulgate that poetry is not dead. But the style... each breath is taken to be lost in an enchantment of idealist fallacies.
To my doubt, Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live a life free of you and to have a heart  unburdened with  thoughts of worry and woe. Have you ever wondered
Openness. What do we need? Is it good? Is it bad? Or is it simply a method for us to expand. Allowing us to give our enemies a sharper knife. What are we to know. What are the intentions? The reasons? The wishes?
All eyes on me Watch me stutter, watch me slip Watch me crumble at the pressure Laugh and applaud I craft masks and write acts
Cut
*snap* Severed ends of a good mood *snip* They walk out of sight and out of life *rip* Your carefully assembled resolve dissolves
the road of failure is painted in the color of hope and leads to the jagged cliff where my dreams jumped.   the road back home is brightly lit and leads to a state of
What of my life, What does it mean to me? What have I learned? What has it tried to teach me? I feel it as it tries to reach me But truly,  It rarely meets me. These thoughts of being confident
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of horses. I'm afraid of heights. I'm afraid of drowning. I'm afraid of death.
I. Heavens flicker and take fire. The Earth takes its final breath Trembling, Stained, Defiled. Dreams gained with certain loss
Late at night I lie awake Pray the lord my soul to take And if I should have dreams that are bright Don't let me see the morning light. 
Blow absorbing hate They're clueless 'bout the vision Yes-I am one in seven billion Which is a fact you can negate But s'why I don't concede
I use to share poems with my name attached  but then I was told I should stop so my name was detached  because the statement made my confidence drop.   What if she was right? Was I just wasting my time
I remember how we used to beUse to be happyWithout a care in the worldUse to spend every day togetherDoing everything yet nothing at allThen one day everything just changed
You love me,So you have told me before,Would die for me,Love me till the very end,Even marry me.So why am I still your second choice?Why do I still come second to her,
As hard as it is I want to love myself I want to love myself like my family could never love me Love me like you love me I want to see myself like you do Because you make me sound so beautiful I can't help but wonder if I really amI want to love m
How strange. Viewing things differently; I never imagined viewing things differently. "For survival", I solemnly claimed. But is it true? I doubt it.   How strange. It's become alot easier;
you’ve shouted at meyou’ve put me down when i needed you to be there for mei called you my group of friendsnow, you can’t stand the fact that i don’t like what you like
"You know you'll be broke?" is what everyone said, their words and opinions filling my head. "A career change already? Are you sure you really want it?" I hadn't even started, and thought I should quit.
Our world: consequence, disease, reward, and inconvenience.  Smiles and laughs that entail crying--  And without even trying-- we acknowledge those who are dying.  Respect for the lost is given without proximity,
That Septembernight.   I didn't know my life would change.I went out to have fun. I didn't think I'd meet someone who'd define my year.   That Octoberday.  
I am so over things being aesthetically pleasing. I am so over someone choosing one thing over another because they think it is more beautiful. We are all culprits. But since when is symmetry all that we care about?
It's hard to see how close we are to the edge. We'd be dead with just one step. Just one move--we'd lose our way. Every day, on the brink of insane   A fragile line to separate the sides
  You don't comprehend.  ∴  My thoughts, my dreams
I love my friends. They're always there for me when I need them,          A fucking lie; they're useless,                   terribly frivolous rats, who never stop to consider-- 
Haikus Inside, there is war. The heart and mind, They quarrel. Like kindred beings.   Fell between the cracks. Shortcomings, All too common.
Stranded am I, by this enslaving isle of fear. Captured am I, by its fell whispers in my ear. Where can I go? Where can I run?   Surrounded am I, by the ocean of worry.
Is this really friendship Do you actually care If I were to disappear would it have an effect on you Am I even important to you
it's like you've lived your whole life on the bottom of the sea rising now  things are looking up  lifting too fast  you feel like you might implode too much pressure too much release
A smile, A laugh, Your hand held in mine. Is this how love should be? Or is it a lie?
yes no maybe set go world career decide college boyfriend kids? no guide can't won't shouldn't did won't  don't
My anger a tsunami rushed straight to you Love into hatred as I scream and cry up to the sky you tore away a piece of me as I begged you to let me go too
Is what I want what I need? Will you fill the void? They say more than him is greed But I want a voice Does that make me faithless? Am I too immature? It’s what I address But nothing is sure
I am lost in the city of Austin. The moon illuminates skyscrapers As I walk through the slums, Questioning if it is day
He wipes the dust of his Bible in times of need. Eats the bread cause he's hungry. Hungry because he plants the seed so God can see he still believes. He confesses he's sorry he's never seen In Church
God I don't know how to pray I do'nt know what to do I don't know what I believe But I know I want to believe in you Please help me to believe Reveal yourself to me Show me
Tell me, was it all in vain?
I am here to represent all thos
is it too much to ask? is this too much for you? no, you say— no, you say? so you say, but you mean yes.  
Lately things haven’t been real But maybe that’s because what’s real doesn’t matter anymore  
The sky lays low tonight like a blanket of a flag on a deceased man eagles fly no more and the world we once knew is covered by a blanket of dew But that dew isn't water
It's a big world for sure. There's no doubt about that And honestly, that's ok.  Except for my loneliness.   What with the world being so big.
I didn’t even want to write this poemI wasn’t sure what was the pointTo pour your heart into somethingWhen there’s always someone better out thereSomeone better at accurate alliteration
I feel weighed down by all my deepest fears  And all my highest hopes  Fear will always whisper in your ear and taunt you. Hope though, is a crueler joke.
Y?
You leave me feeling empty, Yet I don’t know I was full before There was a time I was sure of my feelings, And now I am not so sure I keep on second guessing & regretting
I wonder what I can give, as far as wisdom goes,   for I am somewhat young and have many years to live. The cool Autumn wind blows
You awaken my ungratified soul, Lest I lay in the snare of my skin and bones, You resemble an angels grace and a sense of hope, Take my spirit and don't let go.   Call me in and let the light rush forth,
I am not perfect, for I am human,I envy, I hate, I love, and I fear,What worth can be seen in my living years?
I want you to see the part of me that glass so often hides. Scrolling down your Instagram feed, you would barely even recognize me.    I want you to see the part of me that is hidden by makeup
I hope... Because I care... Because I love my friends... Family... Neighbors... The powerful message... Jesus taught me To love your neighbor as yourself If it wasn't for that
We all have dreams to strive for   a goal to reach to reach for   we just have to wait for the right moment   to get success like the Romans    
What is behind it? The void The abyss The unknown Behind it is whatever it pleased to be
I wish You all could see The small girl behind the facade.   Behind the facade That does nothing but show off And try to prove to everyone that she is a woman.   When really
There is beauty in the folds of my skin and the crease in my brow Underneath my matt of hair and freckles There is power behind my quiet voice and my timid thoughts Seeing past my unsureness and doubt
Every time I try to think it's like a haze Engulfs my mind. So negative, so deflating My mind is in a bind.   For you see, my creativity Is trapped in this haze.  So deflating, so negative
We Are Anonymous Like the Mosquito that comes to bite you and you kill it. Now she is a forgotten entanglement of red and black. But you are still scratching the bitemark.
Started a small bug within But now its cutting  too thin   I want to kill this thing its eating up my life Killing my heart Stilling my brain   But I'm not ready 
Put me together and pull me apart Dissect my insides and play with my heart Stiches will mend, and stiches will show The part of me you probably don't want to know.  
Behind the Curtain of Staged-Perfection  by Janae 
We are all raising  Monkeys in the mirror To the deny this The evidence couldn't be any clearer   i may be subject to my flaws but don't expect me to believe in your god you live for prophecy
I cover the built up emotion
For all the love I have to give No one can learn to live with it I'm restless, weary and fading Straining to remain the same Another date, another day No love shines in this shade
I numb my mind from the altercations that result from me sitting in silence. They say know your enemy well, so I spent hours studying the inside of my mind to find out what makes it go boom.
Im unraveling my brain in hopes that someone may come along pick it up and piece me back together. I could call her my doctor and I her Frankenstein.
There is a man quite dear to me who I’ve known for many years. He knows all of my feelings, and understands my fears.   He lets me know what’s rational, what’s within my expectations.
It’s vital to know, the stakes I conceive Are heaven or hell, nothing or rebirth But how can I know when I must believe?  
    V          Doubt     O          Fills every corner of my mind      I           Whispers      I           Dark words of unending peril. Failure      I           Hope
I've been floating for years, Cocking my ear to the sounds of late night drives And the quick tongues of midnight calls. The white lights at my sides give off flashes Only lasting every other minute or so,
Past     closed up pizza jointsPast laundromats, through the dying noisethe nights tick on like clockworkwatch the calendar as my steps unwind
Oneida says she's out of timefor mining lies from crooked mindsand spending nights     beneath strange blanketsstreet-to-street, tab at a time.
Rejection, Neglect, Confused, Confined   Traits of a sociopathic mind, that's what society tells me i'm just nothing but labels pathetic worthless Attempted at life but resulted in an attempt in suicide.
I remember the shouting. Hearing the screams behind closed doors.
Close the door, sweetheart. What did you expect? Don’t you know monsters Only ever rest?   Basic observation would have saved you. Why, there can never be two. You knew, you knew.  
So lost, still lookingWhere's the never found?I gaze with fixed eyesThis dark quest has me cemented My heart is dementedMy whole solution is buried Underneath the land of the hopeless
I didn’t much worry, I didn’t much care, until I got home and found you not there. 
To be heard is to be Waldo, found at last To be heard is to be the smallest person in any given room with the most passion of any given person
A sprouting flower still frail and green Before it bloomed they doubt what they see Quantified judgments have been made before
The white sandy beaches crash against the waves as if battling for the territory of land. The birds fly through the air sending signals of impending danger to their nearby relatives.
Eighteen years have come  And soon they will be gone For what I have dreamed of Is no reality  Raised in the West With the ideals of the East Standing out as an individual 
Out the window, carried on clouds On a day so listless I can't hear a sound Silence so loud no thoughts are clear
In this life, We are still JUST children, Whose voices would never be heard above the cloud because the world doubts itself It dwells on the past so can’t even dream of a better future
I don’t think anyone expected this to happen. Hell, I didn’t expect this to happen. They didn’t expect us to happen. I didn’t expect you to happen.
Was life worth living? Was it worth to mimic visions of myself just to fit in? Was it worth speaking for the first time? Was it worth ranking up my education just to be clowned?
i am in titanium cuffs locked by my inner thoughts im chained to a brick wall with chains crafted by my dark past i am bundled and gagged with rags weaved from my own fear and doubt and i have lost control.  
Once you plant a doubt in someone’s mind  
It
I hear your anger, I feel your cries. I can smell the fear of histories repitition; the thought of certain memories guard you heart. You cannot forgive nor forget. How could you? It broke your mind,
He rides on a snow-white dragon. Waiting, wondering.
Dear Lord, And then the thought vanishes Like ink words never written on a page. The words that fall like glistening coins from my lips Lack backing in a truer currency.
I am a whirlwind I cannot choose the place to go
there will come a time when all is lostwhen there is nothing left worth the risk because you will lose anywayswhen you are so outnumberedwhen you feel you will die & no one will know and no one will care
Accusations to self-realizations do wither convictions of mine I doubt my motives, facades, my devotions, my own I can't seem to find Oh deep inside of me there is an uncertainty that I must grip
Nothing – Seeing clear as day In the suffocating black of night But cringing with confusion When the sun sheds its light Knowing there’s an answer Not caring if it’s found
Because it's funy how the person who makes you happiest Is also the person capable of hurting you the most, intentional or unbeknownst And the worst kind of love Is the kind where you love and they love
I wonder when will my light glow brighter than our sun. Am I just a star? already shining bright but oh so far.Moving ever so quickly and changing ever so slowly
her insecurities are little girls wrapped in ribbons and frilly dresses and fighting for attention   and her confidence kisses each one goodnight every night and never forgets.
“You can write poetry too” So said my friend of too few years I dared not believe him How could I believe?   The written word In a poetic form I never dared to write
Quiet in bed A desert bed  Expansive, tan With pillowed Whitecaps;   It’s a sea! Heads on arms
Doubt is a weapon used for war. As leathal as a bullet, it is cold and piercing. The bullet stops you and says you cannot move on.  But what should the world make of this weapon, should it be used for evil
Fire burning and eyes hurting Words could never Heal so much   As I wallow In self doubt and worry I never forget my pen   She keeps me safe She knows my every thought
Society is large and society is vast. We learn about our history and past. As we learn about it was anticipate the future. We ask many questions of what it will be like to our teachers or tutor.
I love you   Sleep now darling You have become my life, that without you I'de have nothing, no oxygen to sustain myself from You are my shoulder to lean on and i'll be yours
You got me thinking Of what’s out there and what’s inside You got me thinking Of how we came to be alive You got me thinking Of whether we contain a soul You got me thinking
What I've learned about success It takes more than just fate Your destiny calls to you But always ignore the hate   Dreams take some time No matter how talented you are
I’m a professional at wearing a mask, but once I’m off the stage it starts to crumble and I’m left standing with myself. Looking into a mirror that reflects the past Of another person’s life.
These thoughts are strangers to my head, These thoughts behind the wall Where once stood nothing. Now is hope But fear, it still abounds.
We walked by night, dropped our troubles As though the water we tried to avoid cleansed us, But it didn't, did it? We walked on in conversation or in silence, And either way I felt privileged to be by your side.
Be
Afraid you'll never be, More than you wish to be. Thoughts stand against you. Toil with your emotions. 'To be or not to be' Rings in your head.
So loud in my head Stop to breathe Look up And Silence fills my ears
Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. Can any one hear me? (I think it's empty) An empty space Laid to waste Waste away Until there's nothing (Left) For me to do Til I'm filled up to the neck
Stress bites on her pencils, her mind never stopping. Worry tells her a thousand things she needs to do, a thousand things she needs to work on. Stress gets a headache as Doubt whispers she'll never get it all done.
When I was ten. Let me tell you about then When I was ten I went to Disneyland and was terrified of Space Mountain and the giant whale I got a puppy Played football with my neighbors Read my first big kid book
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