behind the curtain

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Tell me,  what do you see when  you look at me? What do you think when you 
The tumor is here The tumor is there There will be pain Coursing threw your vain Don’t give in Because there are two ends
Underneath the scars That cover my skin  And the fabric of my being within Caked in the long extant scab that once was a collection of thin scrapes,
I don't know what I want. All I know is what I've been told. But are my thoughts truly my own? Does that make them mine, Or are they something instilled?  
I am a wallfower around, but never really noticed. To others it seems like I have my life together, but actually I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. To my friends I'm the quiet one who's along for the ride.
Why do I feel like I have to hide, If we are all a little broken inside? Maybe I am ashamed or at times a little scared, but I shouldn’t have to feel this way. I wish I could make them accept me,
The girl behind the curtain She has no solid form She stays behind it hidden Because it is safe and warm Were nobody can harm her Or hurt and call her names Where she can wear the curtain
I am a women behind locked bars. Trying to escape the path set for me. The verdict has me in for lie.
Dismayed by dirt, we sweep it under the rug. Projecting our perceptions, they are our reality Fearing the monster inside and the fear we think we will see refusing to confront the possibility 
I laugh, I play, I laugh some more, And make sure that the world is smiling. I watch and joke and play along, Not once do I think of reti'ring.   Just one, now two, now three then four,
you
oh, how the depths whisper sweetly thy name, as  sea foam outstretches and kisses the rain. and oh, how the moon cries for the hopeless  and the hills sigh so softly, helpless to thy pain.
I have fallen into a pattern of ticking and tock-ing for those who simply miss the measurement of time. My mouth is stained red, but my mind is enveloped in tones of blue, no longer
Sometimes the disconnect between the world and me (not the fingers typing the words, but the place
" was that you at the speaker? You sound white!"   Im sorry, you mean I have manners and condusct myself if a manner that's  buissness-like.   "But why do you talk like that?"  
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain. She's got nothing to say, for They've taken her voice.   Her eyes are full of longing To speak her thoughts.
No one knows you like I do. We both hide there, behind the curtain. The red one, stained with tears, resentment and fears  accumulated over the years.  
Who`s that girl behind the curtain, filled with words and thoughts unspoken?
I’m not too good at this, letting you hear How much I do care and it fills me with fear. My belov’d words fail, I don’t know what to say, But my heart and my eyes scream “Don’t go! Please Stay.”
Sometimes I feel trapped      inside my own skin      behind my own walls Trapped by my own decisions   Sometimes I feel trapped      under this roof
She is a lovely little dancing dollTrapped inside this embellished music boxTwist and turn the dial to hear her call
For so long I have craved happiness.
Who am I, but a broken heart? Who's smile hides not my broken start. My broken past, my broken home.  The broken father who left me all alone. Who am I, but the daughter of a strong mother?
I’ve laugh
Under my sleeves there are scars you see they were created so deep that they will never leave  constantly reminding me of how much I caused my family to grieve    under this smile you'll soon come to know
Hold it. Girl, hold the smile. Hold the pain for a little while. A while longer,  and they'll see... But then fear gets the best of me. Hold it. Must hold them up.
I hide behind it and look outhow are you? It nods, acqueses and smiles withoutwho am I? I see the inside and feel the paindon't show it! On the surface there's no complaintwhat is it?
Stress, over-thinking, and peer preasure is what making me be who I am not  
*Curtains raise*Enter, a lionA giant golden beast, a main so thick, teeth so largeA growl just barely audible, yet the rumbles vibrate like thunder
We fought I left you didn't run after me. I ran to fast, finding a path for me. I threw the bottle and watched it shater. I saw that one piece that shined and went after. They don't know how I stay sane.
If I were to tell you apart of me that aches me everyday There would be a list , an ongoing list that has poisoned me and hindered my fullest potential
This curtain is my protection, I need it to hide myself from the world. Paranoia and anxiety is a hard thing to hide, And it seems no one understands it.   To me I am sweet, To me I am kind, 
Everything I want to say,          but, no- I'll hold back. Everything you need to know,          but, no- I'll hold back. Trapped by my inablitiy to form words,          so, yes- I'll hold back.
When I'm biting the dust and eating the dirt, and when life pushes me to my knees, I get back up. I look at the bright side. When life hands me a lemon and it squirts in my eye,
              I can't tell you how I feel
I don't know how i came to be. When a deer approaches...  I am suddenly a deer.  I hear the breaking of twigs, the whoosh of the leaves stirring. I watch the deer graze...like an alarm for impending hell.
It is a choice. Those four words have the force, of a thousand. A thousand words of anger, a thousand words of hate, Misunderstood, misinformed, is a mind that's in that state.
I was the girl who was closed off I was the loner I was the loser But then I came out of my shell I got a boyfriend. I got a best friend. I found myself  Finally. And now, to keep myself
I lived on a ship for two months;a mental institution for middle schoolers;Rehab.
I see dead people.  Population: 1.  But there's more on the inside  More voices in that mind Climbing for the principal's chair, it turns the others mute and says  "Listen girl"  And says 
As a shadow, things can always be seen at different angles, but as no'one notices you, you loose expression, you lose that inter-power given to you, But still stand tall so that all can see,
Forever heed the soldiers call The blood of innocence shall they steal And shall king kneel 'Till army fall   The face of purity soldier maul So still,  silent sound
*try reading with and without the bracketed lines  
Your lips twitch, almost a smile Before the mask slips into place Stoic and as strange as before Trying to so hard to be what they want To be anything but yourself But liitle things shine through
You
Where have you gone? you think youre hiding but your wrong your not insincere or fake or lying you are you, and you are trying Becuase when you dig and dig and dig, you wonder who you are at night
Where have you gone? you think youre hiding but your wrong your not insincere or fake or lying you are you, and you are trying Becuase when you dig and dig and dig, you wonder who you are at night
My time is coming, I cannot
  Behind close doors I actually have a personality but yet to be explored... Because where my heart lives it rains...alot And the monster in my closet remains lock
When you grow up believing that nice is the way to go, you forget that emotions, and thoughts
The reason why I please you so much is to show how I feel so inadequate, to show how I feel I am not enough So, should I introduce you to Miss All-Laughs, Miss All-Smiles, Miss So-Independent, Miss So-Strong?
THE SHY ME WHO HIDES BEHIND AN IMPOSTURE SMILE NEVER DARES TO RELEASE HERSELF BECAUSE SHES A CHILD SHE HIDES HER VOICE,TEAR,AND HER LAUGH TO BLEND IN WTIH THE THE CROWD THAT LAUGHS AT HER BACK
Crying in my room. I just want to be accepted. Just want to be loved. I don't know why it has to be like this. With so many people that already can't stand me. How could I ever show them the real me?
Mulan once sang of her reflection And the words wrapped themselves around me Like a ribbon tripping me at the shin Not knowing who I could be   Gay, trans, lesbian, bi
Pretty Every day they tell her she is pretty People she never met They walk up to her and as if it is their duty to humanity they tell her she is so pretty I want to be just like you Perfect A day doesn't go by that she doesn't hear that word The
Folding beneath the weight of a heavy curtain I collapse. If only the pounds of velvet and lace became uncomfortable would I then need to escape. Aside from this dust ridden tapestry I am bright.
At my soul essence, I am deep, forever searching for truth, creative, spiritual, and down to earth. However, it is rare for one to look beyond the surface qualities they see.
  Sometimes I press my forefinger into the soft, underneath of my forearm The milky white flesh is lined with blue peeking through the translucent blanket  
A shell, Haunted. I pull gears, yank levers, A smile, a laugh. I turn knobs, push buttons, A step, a jump.   My day, spread thin. Preparing, maintaining the shell. Presenting.
During the day I am one way
Who am I? It's a tough question, do I answer with my achievements, my dreams, or my friends? Do you want to know my shining moments or the stories of my scars?
Like clay before it's set with fire, I too am delicate My heart is not made of stone yet it refuses to be fractured in the presence of others I'm not immune to judgment but welcome criticism
First Impressions A nice smile, soft brown eyes,A look that’s worry free.
How ironic it is to be controlled by the ones who should encourage expression
Who am I, Really? I know I am a Woman but what make me who I am this very moment? Who am I, really? I have a past that's darker than I ever imagined. Who am I, Really?
Happy, sad, angry, hopeful… These are emotions behind my mask. Happy, patient, brave, smart, athletic… These are the characteristics visible to the public on my special mask
Behind the Curtain sits a man Surrounded by dice and by books, By running shoes and painted miniatures, And no, he’s not alone. There’s friends and family too,  I’m a nerd, a geek,
Eat, sleep, breathe There's no reprieve
I am a five foot two mess.I do not understand the world around my body as the world only understands my soul.I have no idea how life is supposed to roll out,no idea how I feel half the time,
I'm a stompin' I'm a great
To be honest, I absolutely hate myself. My frizzy hair, my jiggly arms, my protruding belly. I hate the way I need make up to  actually feel like I am allowed to exsist.  My stretch marks,
 Truth within layers peel away to reveal the real concealed prayers of day to day this will do away with self nay Sayers of the mind seek and find let your reality shine true through the real you so we can too.
No one knows the anxiety I face Never understanding the difficulties of being in my place I'm a man, in a womens shell Forever living every day in my dysphoric hell. I'm used to being just another guy,
I smile. I laugh. I have been described as a hilarious person, One who makes the days of others.
Im here but then again im not ,surrounded by this noisy world tuned out and in my thoughts im in this predicament my self spun coccoon.Its hard to describe but its like im stuck peering out to a world where im from but from which i cannot become
To see with letters crossed,  A blur of black against white expanse, Staring, squinting, turning, shaking off,  Words of clarity often lost.   Pounding, throbbing, aching eyes
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