coping

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You fail to realize the destruction seen in my tears, Of everything you put me through in my adolescent years. Finding it hard to see past the drink; Never taking the time to reconsider and to think.  
The letters fly from my pen creating words I can never say I cannot draw, or sketch, but I can paint a picture In the minds of others through the words I string together
How could you have known, when you called his name, that there was no one left to answer? Words left unspoken, discussions never to be had, no words left to say, what can I say?
They told me not to speak about it. Pretty girls should't have ugly problems. Pretty girls should be grateful. Pretty girls should be poised. So, they molded me into that.
These bed sheets are arms, Holding me, Eating me alive. They moisten with the pressure of clandestine prayers, Breath a ghost, The ghost of you,
Coming up to 7 years of age was a magical time. We smiled, laughed, and life sailed swiftly by. Getting to the old age of 8 saw a massive change ahead. My guardian angel was often missing, replaced with an absent father,
What happened before you were born   You know, beforee you were a fetus  Before you came to this world And opened your big round eyes Nothing   What happens after you die 
The paper was too blank. But my mind was too fast.   Danez Smith taught me something. He said that poetry helps with pain Because putting a meter to sadness Helps you structure Helps you cope
It is too easy to make affliction handsomeWhen it's lined with rhyme Traced by thin fingersThe numb glow of a dawn window.White drapes on skin and glassDark eyes torn with pain madeBeautiful
The mind is a battlefield A realm of chaos Thoughts fighting for dominance To be discovered and elaborated upon Fragments
Embark on a journey to nowhere and find it easily. Now look up the side of a mountain and be blinded "Rage Rage against the dying of the light"-Dylan Thomas. I covered my eyes and was brought to a familiar dark sky.
Raindrops fall in my head, Reminding me it was never enough. I used to miss you standing by my side,
I’m thinking St. Jude has got a hold on me My head my hands my head Shaking so violently Hand me a bottle, babe I can’t breathe I need to breathe
i do not want to know what your hands did, tremblingly steady, doubtfully certain. i do not want to hear what You left behind,
The light of my life that left too soon The person who never got to see her sapling grow Doing everything for you  Growing into a young woman   You'd be proud of what I've become 
The pain is like a cold, sharp knife It is twisted, stuck in my heart; The pain is like a frozen land The frostbite sears right through my heart;
gone...    just...       gone... your light dark   leaving me without our spark       just your permanent mark   could've saved you from your fall      but you had already given your all 
Dear Edward Said,   What have you done? What have you done to me You have torn open my old wounds Those festering razor slashes Dozens, Accumulated over years, Every time I realized
I burn the pages of my oldest notebooks, erasing the ages that have passed me by. I remember the old days, and cheerful jokes told paired with a longing gaze, and my calloused fingertips.
Too loud, too loud Eyes drowned, head bowed Clap hands over ears Fingers leave bruises But must hold in the music To suspend myself from reality Hear rhythm rapping the only words that make sense
“It's budding" “Are you kidding?” “No. You are the father” “Why even bother?” “I won't say your name” “Abortion. Pills. Anything that kills” Anything that kills…
Choking, squeezing/ Breath gone/ Eyes dark/ Oh, wherefore art thou,/ O serotonin?/   Mind racing/ Deborah pacing/  Confusion mounting/ Behind my eyes, they're shouting/ Yes, no, maybe so/  Static, static, white noise/  Shake and flap/ Senseless sc
I've been sitting here for hours Looking at the lonely street in front of my home, Waiting, listening, praying To hear you pull into my driveway, To see you in the drivers seat with a good morning kiss.
I can't handle this pain it clouds my eyes I'm going insane waiting for my demise   I'm seeing double vision picking apart my skin with great precision a game I cannot win  
I can't sleep knowing that I'm not the one you're dreaming about. Or that maybe you're as hurt as me and you're still up, drowning your sorrows in a Harley Quinn shot glass or hiding them in a haze of green
I chewed all of my fingernails off last night Ripped them away as if they were only tarnished paper Unable to clasp my necklaces or untangle knots right
It began with the eagerness of hope, the longing, burning, raging need to reach the unattainable—that gift which I never thought I would call my own. There were scars still, written across my arms like a
When I feel down these are things I do.  The many ways I cope is how I show my hue.   
i breathe. my throat is tight from too much singing and the anxiety that follows my audition -the look in my teacher's eyes is not responsive when the last note resonates 
   I admit I'm not tough...   I can't handle much... Or at least not at once.    Yeah...  Sometimes I cry and I can't sleep at night. I'm stressed out,                                It broke me.
   Tango light in metal grid    They popped open the heavy lid    Deposited deep inside    The night did not glow       Every 15 minutes so     The lid would open through the door
Night beckons, Night heals, It brings forth all the demons of the mind, and sets them before you. Survive until dawn, And all your fears will be dispelled The soul shall be cleansed,
Why am I so low? Hanging around the ghetto  My mind is an endzone  Showin thins to me that ain't to be shown  Feeling so self conscious I am going nauseous Watching sevy on the wire
She was a small child of seven, loved learning and writting A smart child for being in second grade She wrote about Autumn while her parents were fighting She thought she had it made  
Somebody yells Glass hurls into a wall Hands draw up; a half-hearted attempt at a protection that shouldn't be needed.
I've got a face caked in makeup, and sweat pooling in my palms. I make last second prop checkups, and nerves have me forgetting verses from Psalms.  The curtain rises as the lights go up.
The fans rattling again. It's not the only thing shaking in the darkness.But it's making such a loud racket. I keep it on anyway. I'm afraid the silence will kill me. I fight sleep like it's tangible. 
Inhale. Exhale. I've lost something, but I'm not quite certain of what. It's feels like when you reach for a wallet or a phone.Knowing it's there only to find it's not. There's a brief moment of lightning panic
Never houseless but always homeless, Music managed to provide a sanctuary Even if it is temporary. Always hungry but full off of food for thought, music was always nourishing. Cheeks sallow, belly hollow,
She’s flying with the angels,Look at her go.She’s young and free again.The hardships don’t show.  
My "best friends" don't even want me around,  So most of my time is spent underground, Spilling my thoughts and some tears onto paper, Hoping someone notices before I volitalize into vapor 
Everyone says t
I feel that maybe seein' you go was a wakeup call. A wakeup call to reality. That grownups sometimes have no choice even if they get down on their knees.
An extraneous hope for merciful redemption These queer mice lurking behind harrowed shelves  Rapidly engage between bones crackling beneath the hands of lost worship;
When I was born you were next to me, Then I grew and you gave me your hand, I remember your look,your dreams, your eyes shined they could talk. Something happened that Autumn your laughter was lost
I can see it all. The downfall of men. The inevitable destruction of all we once held close.   There is nothing we can do, but watch.   Watch as all the hope, comforts,
For Oe.
This trial and error This beautiful pain, has left me needing more I really wished you hadn't slammed that door behind me,
I wish that I could throw stars into your eyes  so that you couldn't see Death  looming over us with his velvet blue cape and you could scatter that infinite stretch with constellations
Damn, I miss you.   I  cannot belive this happened. Why can't you be alive and well?   I miss you so much.    Ever since that day almost a year ago, I've been hallow.   
This week I feel funny. I feel out of place, underdressed and alone. I feel a little bit like sticky hands that you can't wash. I can't shake this feeling but for some reason I don't mind.
Sanity, well, it's a thing, apathy, unresponsive, submissive, afraid, and with it hatred, a lot of self hate, a little phrase they use called: low self esteem,
When I was six years old I sat in a darkened closet hugging my knees to my chest. 
I wait I sit there and wait as life passes me by Still wishing that it could all be a joke Time heals all wounds is a famous lie You just learn to cope I'm waiting
Sometimes you think your life is difficult. School is exhausting, your crush doesn't like you... I don't disagree; High school is not as glamorous as it seems. But you don't know true strife,
When people and life give you grief there is some advice you always receive:  “Take it with a grain of salt,” they say.  It’s such a cliché.  And what they don’t tell you 
Little ones sing soft and sweet In their castles safe to dream I once lived in a castle too Long before I was torn from you   Father, forgive me for I have sinned
Warmth FallsFeelings FadeWhat you see, You see no moreConsumed in shadows of the pastDesperately wishing to break freeTo change...Just as the others haveFalse hope and Fraud love
I've learned to like the problems. I've learned to love the pain. There is no hope of coping with it any other way. They say "Be glad with what you have, and you will be alright.  Cherish every moment, 
Judy It’s been two years And time has flown A time for tears And now I’m grown   Empty inside
When boiling water across one arm Will produce the same effect as a razor And you know that Every morning it's all you can do Not to drain yourself Although you are so drained already
I write you this letter as I lay belly-down on the now very faded hammock in our backyard. The same hammock you and I would lay on for hours telling stories and sharing secrets.
Someone once asked me"Why do you write?"This I what I said:
When I was young My Daddy read me stories as I drifted to sleep And I watched in awe as the peaceful melody of words evolved into symphonic wonder; a castle, a wish, a hope shone in my Daddy’s eyes.  
I’m drunk. Not on life. Not on hormones. Not adrenaline.   I’m drunk.   Alcohol is my mister, And I regret nothing With him,   Or do I?  
Her body strong and stable  as her will and mind . Her womanly curvs oh, so fine  this divine sister of mine . Her beauty lies not just within the curvs of her hips
I’m staring into the skies above A gentle wind is rustling my hair And tickling my skin It beckons me to come forth
The clock struck one and shadows danced,There I was among the ants,The dark sky roared a somber tune,Of thunder and droplets to drown me soon,A heart of mud slipped out my chest,
I sat there Unworried, stress free  Or in other words calm and collected about the whole situation Determined, expecting Looking past the affection Only concerned about our connection.
I wasn’t born in the gutters; God blessed me with a stutter. So I searched and discovered, in the end hurt and disgusted Armed with this pen, dangerous on this sheet,. Bound to red ink, this is my ballpoint period piece..
Dear Old Friend,/ I Remember your crazy face / Especially when you made jokes about my hair / Walking in the shadow of the moon we laugh / Waking everybody up / Remember those days of Happiness / When we watch those ladies walk / Late to school we
One petal sent to the deep Two petals underground; towards the keep Three petals quiet with the weep Bottomless. Four petals white as the ash Five petals floating resentment held back
My Mother seems so far away from me, On that beautiful white shore across the sea. Yet I remember love’s soft glow upon her face, And the feel of her touch and tender embrace.
As I kicked the tiny, gray pebble in the street, walking home from the park, all I could think about was the fact that I needed to get home right away.
Abuelo I don’t know how to say this I don’t even know where to begin How do you write a tribute to someone who you still think is there? Cuz you see, you’re not really gone in my mind yet
The deaths of waves upon the shore Without a shout commence. But courses of their peaks and troughs Resound in timelessness.   As she breathes her final breath Her silent dream is cut
Maybe life goes on, even with you gone, Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Like sunshine you'll follow me wherever I go Even through the fog and the cloudy days.
Each car passes slower and slower linked in a tangle of iron and motion. I could reach out and touch it. There are words painted in bright colors on the sides of each car,
There is always a gloomy day where you wanna lay in the rain When you lose someone a part of you brakes away
Awoken. It was 3:11a.m. The girl stared off into the darkness. The dark hallway disappeared beyond the border. Ring. Ring. Ring The thought of worry twisted back into her mind.
We will never be satisfied. It is against human nature To be content with what we have in our lives. Everyone wants more.
Sometimes I want to dive in to greet the bottom of the ocean floor Sometimes I want to jump off to see what lies in the concrete. Sometimes I want to drink because I am curious about what hides at the bottom of the bottle
Listen to what I have to say, mommy. I have so many built up emotions inside of me.
The shadow that covered me
Six feet under, Such a small number to be down, where the sins of the world are kept, in the graves of the dead that were condemned. I cry out "why!" and then realize, Life is but a mere Vapor,
I'm dangling on the rail of a hospital bed Clinging to you and the life you have left and Somewhere in between hushed breaths and the unnerving hum of the air mattress
You’ve left us in your sleep, and made your way to somewhere new, without a sound you would creep, up to the place with a spot saved for you. We never wished for this day to come,
I have an affair with depression and apathy is just my side lover self harm isn't caused by my self it's the scars and bruises I put on my body every other weekend
I haven't seen you in awhile. The one with the blonde hair and blue eyes. The one who has fire burning inside, But still the light of my life. You challenge me to think, Back.
Here I am, three years later and so much has changed; except for the hole in my heart. What was once a searing and excruciating pain, is now a constant dull ache. Never going away, never giving relief,
I don’t know how much Corpses can hear, But if you’re hearing, Some things must be made clear After this first year.
Beyond my window, beyond the stars in the sky, beyond the many planets, within the heavens, there you are. Pictures are worth a thousand words yet none of them are your words that once filled my ears.
Love? What does that mean? It means that you... wait... I haven't learned what that is just yet. I sit as a young woman waiting impatiently for whom to show me the way to his heart of justice.
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