overwhelmed
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When you leave me, I feel my throat close
my air leaves my lungs and they colaps
I feel suffocation creeping in
it hurts, it hurts
how could you make me feel this way?
When I lose, I can't breathe
By Debi Lyn ~ completed 10/23/21 @ 10:30 pm
How is it people seem to take everything in stride
when everything for ME is a commotion inside?
Everything's so loud
How do I drown it all out?
Drown out all the emotions
All the pilling school work
Drown out the yelling parents
Everything
Drown out everything
Here you are again,
wandering around the block,
with that smile you use to pretend
not being caught up in your thoughts.
Here you are again,
but now, you're being brave.
Notions pervade your brain,
Darkness overwhelms as night falls
Daylight seems so far away
The tunnel stretches, night continues
Daylight seems so far away
Dreams of light and feeling warm
Daylight seems so far away
TRIGGER WARNING :: mentions of suicide ::
I think to myself ‘This feels like drowning,’
As my tears fill my bathtub.
This feels like dying,
as my tears tie themselves around my neck.
If only life was as easy to handle as a pile of laundry.
It builds up and up, but a quick load or two will shrink it back down.
And then all that is left is the warm smell of lavender soap and an empty basket.
Exhaustion takes hold as a suffocating headache.
My eyes burn from staring at screens.
The laundry is piling up and I stand at the edge of its oblivion.
There is so much I still need to complete.
To whom it may concern,
When you’re tired and feeling low
Most of your days are full of sorrow,
Take a step back
It’s okay to get side-tracked
Don’t lose your soul
Leaves crumple under my feet as my eyes are fogged by my layered tears.
I’m walking under the brightest street lights, but still feeling completely in the
It's
all
so
much
So
much
to do
so many
expectations
so many
priorities
So many
people
demanding
demanding
demanding
Fearing that I won't articulate my thoughts correctly and
worrying that what I want to say isn't worth the read.
Ripping a page out because I already
fucked something up only
the first line in.
Like a parasite, it claws at my flesh.
It’s in my head, gnawing at that part of the brain
which no one knows the name of:
Isn’t it Ironic?
It’s sometimes overwhelming having so much to say,
Thoughts filling your head all moments of the day,
Being overwhelmed is not a rainbow of fun,
It is not a peaceful morning at yoga,
Or a peaceful lake in front of you.
It's not as calming as a fish.
Being overwhelmed is a blank canvas,
Spoken Intro:
“All of a sudden, it’s like you’ve become aware of your own existence, how unwhole you are.
And you’re constantly being reborn...
Again...
And again...
And again...
And again.
Take it easy
Your mind is thin paper held up to the sun
Through it shines colors the eye can’t even see,
But you’re quick to burn too fast...
Be mindful & burn slow...
Information; information!My mind inflates from theConstant inhalationOf words
Black on white
Everyone says I need to get over you But I can't seem to convince myself were throughWe're doneWe're overJust wish I wasn't sober Wish I could delete the thoughts From my headBut somehow
Pull the rope from either end
Watch it fray
and snap
and destroy from within.
Then squeeze the ball at its very core
Till it’s a flat disk,
with a pop,
then a ball no more.
My thoughts are poisonously hot
They rise to my mind
Building pressure
Leaving my chest tight and empty
No air
Others will try
To breathe back life into my veins
But it all rises back
I can't tell if the war between
acceptance and fear is raging
around me or inside of me.
Cries for peace surpass my lips, but
my voice isn't loud enough.
With so much to say,
Warm feelings
Memories of smiles
And outrageous laughter
With silly wiles
And for some
A happily ever after
Drowning in ecstasy
Waves of joy
Washing over me
Crushing me in bliss
so many emotions my body can't contain
continuously being suffocated like an un-oxygenated flame
if someone would put me out how grateful i would be
for my emotions--never ending--are shifting like the trees
In my head, it made sense
Why I stayed up with my pen
If today could last me longer,
Then tomorrow won't begin
.
Sunday night's just the beginning of the end.
From class to class
From book to book
This is all a mess
Just take a look
Homework piled up
No end in sight
Every time I wake up
Don’t turn on the light
even the stongest people can break
with all the things on their plate
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
so they say, leaving scars that linger
life gives us things that we can handle
It's the same old thing again.
A teenage girl with "nothing to complain about",
Complaining about the things no one sees.
They see a roof on my head, shoes on my feet,
Food on my table, clothes on my back,
Hello.
How are you?
That's nice.
Me?
How am I?
Oh.
Oh no.
You don't want that answer.
Why?
You sure you wanna know?
Remember, you did this to yourself.
There is a river inside of me,
It always flows, impossibly deep
As it holds all I can be
My dreams, my passions, memories
The water is cold;
It chills my bones
No one knows where it flows,
In the greatest strings of logic, and the most concise and thought out stretches of time, where do I stand?
Continuity,
Four, five, six, three,
When I die, are bones all that are left of me?
Immortal,
I have memories of past lives sewn inside my brain
They come rushing at me in the night like an oncoming train.
In between sleep and awake is where I most feel at home
I drown in my thoughts--
Water rushing through the mountain valleys dragging every stone not firmly rooted,
drowning just to resurface in an unknown region.
And before long, the current sweeps the few, back under its brute force again.
She sits on a train, trapped, without power,
Reaching speeds of one hundred miles an hour.
Her future a dream, destination untold,
All she knows is she’s stuck, there, on that road.
Your mind is roaming, so full of thoughts. You cannot stop thinking, your mind is so wrought. Constantly doing something for others, expecting nothing in return. Silently seeking happiness and someone elses concern.
How much easier it would be if I were not lonesome,so rooted in my happy lonesome,cornered with no feelings that someone's happiness might be dependenton me.Alone in my encounters.
I can’t sleep. During the day I’m tired. At night I’m awake,
I’m not hungry, I just want to drink.
I don’t have money. I want to be alone.
He lets me know that I'll be alright, he sees my tears and holds me tight.
eyes wide open yet im sleep, left alone to solemnly weep.
scared of love because he'll probably leave and though its cold I'll plant my seed.
My mother lived
at the bottom of a vodka bottle.
Her lungs crystallized
from years of breathing
tobacco instead of air.
She wasn't always sad,
I'm sure.
But I never saw her smile
These things you tell yourself at midnight
When you're alone
and those thoughts in your head just won't
shut up.
And all you want is some Goddamn
silence
Crying in my room, overwhelmed by circumstances I can’t control
Confessing my fears as my tears silently roll
Standing before you with nothing to offer,
Only broken pieces to lie at Your altar,
I sit
I cry
There's so much going on
The yelling
The fighting
It never stops
The littlest thing
Sets me off
School
Homework
Homelife
How do I balance it
Depending on a soul with never vanish a burden.
Heavier and heavier, brick on brick; stress calls the name.
Whisper in response and face the pain.
Doors closed, surrounded by fear, no way to escape...
I do not speak for a number of reasons
In a number of places that all sound the same
I wrap up my ears no matter the season
And hope that the noises die as quickly as they came
