weight
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I am not a model
I will never be a dancer
Or a Go Go boy
Or the calendar image for the month of July
But I am everything it took to stay alive
And I’m sorry if that’s not good enough for you.
I sincerely miss
Playing With
The child inside
But now he cries.
There was a time
When he could see sunshine
But now he's scared
He came to life unprepared.
On the ground he lay
Yes, in fact I do know that I’m fat
No, I don’t plan to change for you
Yes, I plan to lose the weight someday, but if you think I owe it to you to do so, then you will never get the satisfaction of holding my hand.
She was an 8-year-old girl naive and didn’t understand what it meant to be “fat”
She didn’t care it never bothered her
The subtle hints that slip her family’s tongues
I am fat.
Some may say “same” or “retweet”
I am looking at you Ms. size four or five. SHUT UP.
Some of you are looking around the room
I am fat.
Some may say “same” or “retweet”
I am looking at you Ms. size four or five. SHUT UP.
Some of you are looking around the room
Today I am wearing anything but black solely to hide the fact that I am just sticks…
Just sticks set up in such a way that if you even tap my shoulder… you will be impaled without intention
The mirror cries long tears to the bus station
Her feet draw their mottled shapes on the
Pavement
It is wet and cold.
In my mouth, there lies elegant blood
i dont know if im really who i say i am if im happy if im great who knows what i am no one but me. but im making sure that even knows my image and my heart im sad and happy who i am limbo i just want to obtain that one thing every human desires ha
just words written down
nothing more nothing less
until they were words about
bodies
respect
food
fuel
no longer words
but a path to recovery
Dear Mom,
He was there for you. He loved you, kept you in his arms each night.
Until you went to another.
I wanted to be skinny
to fix all that I saw
to bring myself some dignity
and try to get through it all.
I made myself a plan.
I was ready to follow through.
But now I'll be stuck all fat and alone
Your 125 lb frame
Might have been easy to carry...
But you weigh my heart slowly.
Like a million feathers
You're a leach.
Sapping away red plasma
I am drained,
From the pain.
You remain,
When I left home
A short five months ago
I had my priorities set
And was not prepared to roam
College was what I had prepared for
Before I knew the alphabet could rule my life
Every day was a chore
I never even wished for more
To wish would be to care
To care would be a dream to me
I didn’t have the desire
Fat girl wakes up in the morning
Fat girl tries on ten pairs of pants that does not make it look like her sides spill over
Fat girl keeps in the tears because it will smudge the makeup she is so proud of
When I was seven years old
In my mathematics class
Measurement setting in dread
Forty kilograms is the answer
I don’t remember the lesson I learnt
One hundred and thirty poundsNot of flesh, or blood, or organs I speakBut of absence, of perfection, of all that I seek
We each have our own weight to bearphysical, emotional, spiritual we do not careThe thought that our weight could crush othersIs why we do not share
Am I nothing more than a waist line?
A product of starving models, and purging diets.
Because everyone wants 23 precent less than me.
I am made to feel ashamed of what life has given me,
Never does the feeling mix well with my digestion. ItGoes along my intestinal track and gets stuck every time, trying to runAway from the end when I can finally let it go. But of course this
The smell of blood invades my nose every morning around dawn
and we were not woken up quietly.
My eyes opened wide to the sounds of screams penetrating my eardrums.
how can i stand up straight with the weight of the world on my shoulders
how can i stand up straight with no confidence to hold my shoulders back
see since i was young i've been trying to make myself smaller
The advertisements on the television screenSell sex, beauty, creamsA pill for your misery“Oh, you don’t look like a photo shop lie? What’s your alibi?You should love your body naturally, but only if you look like me!”
A man.
Standing tall with his head held high,
to bad there's no gap between his thighs.
A man.
With eyes that only see the future,
if only the world could see his tummy tuck suture.
Not good enough?
What is “good enough”?
Will I be “good enough” when my hair is down to my ass
And my eyes are altered to turn blue from thin layers of magnifying glasses
Mistakes,
Baby I'm flawless.
What you want me to be ashamed of,
Baby I flaunt it.
You talk and laugh about the way I look,
But don't understand that my ego can't be shook.
Blood pools
At the end of the stairway
Caressing me
Welcoming me
Into eternity
I fall and shatter
Into millions of fragments
So that nobody
Can ever uncover
Me again
There's been something weighing on my mind; you see, girls are supposed to be these
pretty
little things, with
ditsy
little brains,
but what has society's image done to our self-image?
I can still hear the crunch of the potato chips resounding in my ears like the crushing of my dreams to fit into that dress,
Counting the calories,
Secretly loving each bite,
Is being skinny
Worth all this fight?
Seeing your hipbones?
Collarbones too?
Searching for a thigh gap,
even though there's so much "you"?
We are the Ones.
The beaten,
the broken,
the abused.
We are the Silent.
Bearing our agony with closed mouths.
The quiet,
the strong,
the mute.
We are the Patient.
She is a hyprocrite
Full of contraditions
And consumed with a nonconformist spirit
She desires to be loved
Yet all she visualizes is hate
I am not three letters
my whole existance
is not bound by the skin that is covering my soul
by the body that is less than
simply because I am larger than you
they try to place scars
You see, weight is too much,
The pounds are too much,
The scale says "enough"
But the numbers don't bluff.
Below layers of fat
(Which really aren't there)
Downgrading someone’s beauty because of the shade of their skin?That’s like loathing a flower for the colour of its pigment.Lessening someone’s attractiveness because of the texture of their hair?
The number, the size,the sanity, the happinesswane.
This is what you wanted, isn't it?
Flat stomach, thigh gap,slim waist, and prominent bones,achieved.
The other day, I was talking about how much I weigh
and how this affects my life,
and the person I was talking with said something to me.
Who is society to distinguish what is right and wrong? Is it size, weight, appearance, or personality that defines us? We judge, we look, we quickly decide within the first ten seconds who that person is.
An obsession
An addiction.
It tortures me,
but I need it.
I got to know
the number on the scale.
Restrict my food.
Binge eat.
Purge.
Thoughts of laxatives.
Being skinny my whole life, I’ve gotten a lot of:
“How lucky are you.
You never gain any weight,
You can eat anything you want.
You’re so lucky,
I wish I was you”
I am so lucky.
The poor teenage girl sits in her room to cry
Remembering all the mean things said today
"Lose some weight! Wear a mask! Just drop dead and die!"
On her bed, knees hunched, tears fall
It happened in August.
294, it read.
I blink,
my eyes needing to focus.
The numbers don’t budge.
My heart drops
easily into my stomach.
I feel sick.
The scale says something
I'm the type of guy
who tries not to say "I"
Because when I saying "I"
is showing too much pr"i"de.
'I' was raised that way
believing there is a link
to the philosophy of my kind
Why do all girls seem to think they're ugly? Overweight? Not good enough? Even the girls who are the "populars," and seem like they have it all together - they might not. Teenage girls are worried about their looks and how people view them.
When you find yourselfwith your toeshanging over the sideof your 7 story apartment,the breeze whistling betweenyour toes, inching closer to the edge,Who do you call?
She wants it within herself....peace
Because she can't get it from nobody else
looking in the mirror seeing someone big and fat
but she purges and binge so how come she see that
Each lesson puts a dense weight on my chest,
And all of the information blurs together in a fuzzy heap.
My brain cannot filter what I do not fully understand.
Each subject is taught back to back,
Against all odds I will succeed, I will be what doubting mouths said I can’t be.
Success is the achievement of something intended or desired, my desire is to reach higher to be brighter.
I appreciate to be writing freely
Because now I can describe my life
I come from a small town without much money
And my family would be better of without this strife
When I was middle-aged boy
You say "we are all equal"
That this is home of the free
Yet you judge by my color not knowing what you see.
I could be red,purple,gold,or silver
But you look at me like I'm a stone figure
My mother tells me she used to believe in
abortion. Said her body wasn't ready to
cradle stretch marks that would tuck into her.
She is addicted to alignment. Thinks the arcs
You're brittle and straining
Transparent and weak.
A ghost of a smile
Fading before your poisoned eyes,
A skeleton locked in a treasure cove.
You live amongst valleys and ridges and mountains.
The power of words, is awesome to behold.
They build and they break, they furl and they fold.
A simple word, empowers a man,
Or throws his hopes, his dreams in the can.
Such simple devices, such miniscule tools,
See that girl sitting over there?
Rumor has it that in the ninth grade
she and a senior boy with a movie poster face and a Hollister body
went at it in the bushes at Sarah Something-Or-Other's 18th birthday party
I force down another bite
Pack on another pound
My friends push me to the edge
“You’re pretty, but much to skinny.”
So I eat and eat and eat
Not because I’m hungry
But ashamed of what I’ve become
When I was born,
the doctor gave me a length
and a weight
and these numbers
said I was healthy.
So he sent me
into the world.
Now I am seventeen
with a length and a weight,
Blackens my soul and decays my image this thought I carry weighs my mind down repeatedly throughout my days. Nothing that has been forced upon me to carry upon my body, yet something I myself drilled inside me and struggle with by choice.
A generation of sons flown overseas
Those left at home rendered mute although screaming for truth and peace
Left with no choice but to oversee
Spreading of disease among youth rapidly increase
Hooded eyes: downcast, afraid
Hunched shoulders, bearing the weight
Sad smile, betraying the truth
The pressure: too much for this youth.
