closet

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I never told my parents I was gay. Never mentioned that I would not be giving them grandchildren. An eleven year old’s mind, full of insecurity, but eleven year old’s will listen. Listen to the news that you watch
Don’t tell me you know me Because you don’t All you know are smiles and “im okays” You have no idea of the pain underneath
I wear a mask woven of lies Hiding behind a happy facade  I wear long sleeves To cover the scars on my arm I wear oversized clothes
Being Gay, I was never actually happy, I was locked inside a cramped closet.  Being Gay, I was manhandled by my father, I was being belittled. Being Gay, I couldn't be myself,
I feel the breath being pulled straight from my lungs. They feel themselves collapsing back into the same stars that they were born from. I feel my heart pounding.
Do you truly understand what it means to be locked away? You see all my life, I have been stuck without even realizing it
Dear Sydney,   Out there, I’d be bare, Stripped down, naked, A silhouette, faded.   Can’t you understand?
          That Gay Kid In the darkest depths of the earth
Is the closet really safe? Or was it meant to be fake     Played with like a heart               Who will soon be torn apart See,but people don't realize this That the closet is safe as is
I'm listing in these waters of oxidized dust,
These infernal steaming pools, housed in rust encumbered riveted domes, Constructed by prison masons posing as scribes, Spout their plumes of water rising to eclipse skylights, fogging up the warped cracking glass,
Be yourself they say  its ok your no different from the rest  But as soon as you choose to step out the closet Its like your all a mess You cant be different if you have a mindeset  of everybody else
The Closet   There is the universe. Inside that universe is the solar system,
My life is a lie. Every day is a challenge As I put on a show for those closest to me. I was taught that these feelings inside me are wrong.
Doubt is my destiny, faith my breath.To tomorrow, carefully I live, on pain of death.Interlocked fingers and combatting thoughts,It's love that lingers and the fear has been fought.
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