eatingdisorders

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 <h1>SCATTERED      ASHES</h1> <ins> <p>I am from a family where bubbles exist</p> <p>From a broken home and a messed up wish</p> <p>I am from a crippled yet standing still keeping secrets injured an
choosing clothes looking in the mirror starring into a stranger.   we know tonight we'll skip dinner to wake up a little bit thinner.   walking with your dog will never be the same
I've been patiently waiting for you to notice me like a girl standing in the corner at a party just waiting to be danced with. But you never notice me.And every time I try to give you a compliment you always seem to get mad at me.I'm sorry if I al
Strong brick walls tumbling down, hitting me on the head. Making me forget my dreams and wishes. Voices shouting at me, non stop all I hear "don't you dare eat that". All I can say is " leave me alone".
Because you loved me, you told me to lose weight You loved my hair long, when I wanted to cut it short You loved my perfect grades, when I was struggling to keep up  
Once Upon a time, there was a princess, warm and beautiful, and loved by all. Once Upon a time, she laughed joyously, her heart flowing with joy, and her smile gleaming.
When you jokingly say “ohmygod I hate you!” And I say laughing “I hate me too so it’s all good” You may be joking, but I’m not  
I am plastic, Your child’s best friend, I am small and held in their hand, I am tall and pretty, And every girl wants to be me,  
  2002. I’m seven years old and scared as hell To make a sound I start to weep and plead with her Please, please not Emily
  i guess shes been my friend all my life. though she was not always there, she resided in shadows waiting to pounce to bestow her perfection to flood my mind with dust and bones...
My voice Is something which my ears fail to define When it kisses the air, it splinters Into exactly 2 billion and 3 question marks Hooking round my pores and Peppering my flesh with pock-marks of stray
I used to pray. I used to pray that when I woke, my skin would be clear of  imperfections. Clear of freckles, clear of bumpsI hated being different, noticed, ugly. 
Society says the point of “getting better” is to be loved. By someone; by something. 
Just when you think You've got it under control
Blink. Blinkblink. Better turn off the alarm before I wake them up. Up I go. I have no desire to look presentable today, but they will see me They will judge me What can I wear?
The most peaceful moment of my life happened as I was laying on the ground of my doctor's office unconscious from malnutrition, and I didn't realize that I'd passed out
They said that recovery was an uphill battle - I have never before trecked up a twisted slope for so long. I figured my frustration and fear - of weight, of fat, of feeling bad - 
I am a girl. I am a woman. I should sit on the toilet, and stare at the wall, or the tub, or the sink. My view should be of the things around me, not the things under me. I am a human. I am a person.
The Power of Perfection
I'm custom-built to expectationA situational chameleonBut no one knows,Because what they see is only what I show them
I lived on a ship for two months;a mental institution for middle schoolers;Rehab.
I am a Painter of Another Day Another sleepless night, Another day avoiding glances, Another day pretending to be happy, Anothr fake smile, And another day hiding the scars covering my skin.
It's this mindset I'm stuck in Obsessive and impulsive I look in the mirror The image is repulsive   There will be better times Where I can relax and unwind But all I ask is why?  
Betraying my body.  Excersing to oblivion.  All food maticulousoy monitered.  Under the control of the fear of gaining weight.  Telling myself if I lose a few more ill be happy. 
To be happy, society screams at us with images of perfection. What you wear, how thin you can be. Who you are never mattered.
The mirror is my frenemy
Leave me at perfection, it's just over there.
I'm finally going to fill up the pages of my life.  No more blanks. No more hesitation to fill in the spaces with bold, deliberate strokes.    I'm going to be able to focus again
Don’t eat,
I've decided to eat today... Is a cup of coffee okay? Only if it's black, Maybe some strawberries? Only 2 allowed for you, Okay.. What about some carrots? You're really pushing it,
No one ever tells you how much it hurts To hate yourself. No one ever tells you how addictive it is
What I see in the mirror is no longer my reflection, But a creation of my internal hell. She stares at me and glares at me
I’m tired. I’m tired of turning on a TV that only shows me pictures of pretty girls, perfect girls, all a size double 0.
im leaving a tattoo on my skin my heal, my hip, of how ve been a home made reminder, always there reminding me to starve beyond compare to not consume for days or weeks wait for the body that i should seek
clickclickclickclick goes the key board as i sip my morning tea. Spiling, gushing ,spewng my deepest trauma and heatache. My therapy, your guilty pleasure. The best job, if you ask me, is that of a writer.
    My body is malformed.  It has every single limb but I can't conform.  The thighs, the sides, the stomach, the hands; they're all too round, too soft. 
An obsession An addiction. It tortures me, but I need it. I got to know the number on the scale.   Restrict my food. Binge eat. Purge. Thoughts of laxatives.
I once was A girl caged in lonliness; living nightmare The devil on my back Crawled in my head
     Broken, that's what I am.
Yes honey im flawed
It tells me I can't eat It tells me to throw up what I do eat It tells me I'm not good enough It tells me I need to do 700 crunches a day It bells me I'll never be skinny It tells me I can't gain weight
I am not a real person. I am an outer shell, wrapped in a mind that wants to be seperate. I am skin, and fat, and blood, and dust. 
Dear Mirro
When times are hard and hopes are low, Let the wind blow,   Let your emotions out, If you want you can even shout,   Run free and seek,  A great destiny,   The sadness will leave,
I wear a size seven, you want me to be a three. Forget what you say. This is real, this is me. I wear a size large, you want me to be a small. You think 5'1" is too short,
I loved puppies and horses. I loved people, laughter, and Cheesy Mac. I was soft and round and, The words they used were biting and sharp.  They cut me deeply.
i need to see the change is the world i need to hear more of the unheard not everyone is recognized but more of people hiding in disguise. i want to see more happiness and more people who forgive and forget
Will you listen? Just once  im finally able to speak, senior year is here  its fmally here, my chance to take the stand  my words will be heard   im here ive been here im not leaving soon 
Teacher, before we start the dramatics, Before the sighs begin. I would like for you to know about what really happens within.   Yes, sir; the problem IS written clearly on the board.
Passionless teaching sorrounding us, Obsorbs the excitment of most, Drousy and bored causes a fuss, or sketching our trip to the coast.    Lunch is dull and tasteless, Although we get a break,
In elementary school, we read a story called The BFG, or big friendly giant. It was a story about the only kind giant to exist. If you asked any of my old classmates about the story, most would probably not remember.
  Walking in and feeling alone Tears streaming down my face Will they care? Hell no Why would anyone care about me?   Then he walks over, caring eyes “Come outside with me”
She's back you know- making the wallflower's feel... pretty but, they'll soon realize her lies and the pain she puts them through,  only makes her stronger.
mocking me, judging me laugh laugh laugh hurting me, killing me stab stab stab if words dont hurt you? why am i bleeding so bad? trying to recover  but im halfway dead.  
I could tell you a secret, But it's locked inside. I could dig in and reach it, If I dismantled my pride. I really want to tell you, But you're in a different state of mind.
Your world is closer and closer to falling apart,   I can see it in your eyes.   You are scared of what they will do  
To the lost, the forgotten, the outcasts, to all those who feel hopeless and alone. This cruel, sick, and twisted world you live in has made you think the unthinkable and speak the unspeakable.
she falls off the moon,   she carries her wings, she fights with herself,   she's dying to please.    she knows every word,  she's heard it before, she's not what they want, 
Depression is a disease that sucks the blood from your veins Leaving a corpse to roam that has forgotten its name Emotionless eyes show a soul that's holding in pain Walking a path down a road just searching for a end The next bus could be their e
One too many Two too many Three too many Stop As she stared into the glass mirror seeing nothing but a worthless reflection One too many Two too many Is three too many? Stop
Hey little birdy, The one by my window; I see your colourless wings so sturdy And those dark eyes so hollow. Birdy, take me with you.  I want your freedom; I want to fly in the blue.
  You said You promised (Cross your heart and hope to die) That you would never tell That I was the one who took the last cookie that day in Kindergarten Because we were
   
1. Piece of metal Repeatedly pressed against my skin Holding my mind for a ransom I paid in blood and tears.  
She sits alone No one by her side She's only nine Everyday and every night that poor little girl cries Her life has been hell on earth Her sister is schizo, bipolar, and very depressed
I wobble my way down the narrow hallway my thoughts are an epic mess the bright light I'm following is so far away yet I feel I can grasp it I must confess.
The Blackest night and Hottest fire Within my Soul I feel The Frozen sadness I admire The pain it seems so real Flowers will wilt and friends will die I walk this world alone I feel the hatred Burn inside
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