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I have never been able to say the words out loud. But I definetly know without a doubt, my uncle is gone He left in what seemed like the blink of an eye.  A suprise visit the week before Turkey day 
O captain my captain who sleeps with the tide Who told tales of treachery and sweet siren cries We've gone down with the ship Sunken and buried Why run away? When there was no hurry
January 29, 2018     Dear all those who love me,   It sits there menacingly, waiting It’s come back around, and it’s ready for a fight I’ve prepared my armor…my guns
What a whore? What a slut? Oh my God, did she give it up? Drink some bleach Get a rope Didn’t cut deep enough? Next time try your throat  Ew it smells like rotten fish
Beauty doesn't always come easily. Insecurity will rear its ugly head. But you, my love, You are so perfect. To be like you, one could only wish. So please
There used to be a time she only listened to the sweet harmony, but the lullaby won't seem to stop dancing on her tongue. She murmurs the verses at the slow beat of her heart
Rain drops earth at a steady stop Clouds of depression cover her heaven Faces of shame Share the blame Heaven doesn't ring it's bells An angel is expelled A silent cry for help
Being awoken  And opening my eyes To the sunshine Every morning When I could only see darkness Showed me that There was more to me Than my mental illness   It gave me a reason
As a kid I loved swimming It was something  That made me happy   As I grew My love  For immersion  Became fear   As I realized The mental horror Of drowning 
You will wish to have called just once more To have heard their voice once more To have held their hand when it wasn’t cold To have hugged them tighter the last time you saw them
no matter what you say or do  it will never be  enough not what they're looking for so your feelings,  they're ignored  they're a lie just like you just because you're a liar too
Hey, is anyone out there listening?Where are the ears to hear?Her heart is opening wide;can you feel her agony?Does any one care?Her tears are falling.There are secrets in her soul
So here is a story about how I became oblivious to addiction with a substance I've been told was something God had gifted and a gift it was for a while at least no sense of pain and time's existance just ceased
I received a phone call from my father Explaining that it was all too real And all too sudden This man he spoke of did not sound like the uncle, his brother I knew I wanted to be there I did
At the edge of my bed, A close friend creeps, His gibbers and gabbers fill my head, The way he speaks is quite bleak, I'd not mind it if he wasn't two years dead.
When youre all alone and you think no one is around. When you think no one else see's what youre doing. Look up to the sky, forgot about him, did you? God knows all and see's all.
Fool me one time shame on you…Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you…Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs load the chopper, and let it rain on you precipitating shells of emptiness disturbing the atmosphere surrounding its casing.
Sometimes being alone
In time and chance Maybe we can all dance Up and Down the world so green Why do people have to be so mean Time can change anybody's name And yet people remain the same Sometimes things go wrong
Welcome to society, where they teach you to love yourself,
A boy named Evan, happy as could be Or so it seemed No one understood, no one could see, the darkness lurking beneath As an outsider looking in, everything seemed perfect Until that grave September night
I was born into this world by parents and adopted by you You didn’t have to adopt me, but you wanted to keep me I wanted to be your pet, love and devoted to you it’s true
When you commit suicide you kill yourself Others then die inside and are robbed of wealth You are valuable to others more than you know Suicide just let’s all your weaknesses show
Chances are you could find love Chances are you can be happy   Chances are you have to shove
You're always emergency room crisis, broken knucklesSometimes blood isn't always meant to be poetic, kid You keep betting your life, wishing against. what's the bid? The big pyramid scheme of existence
They look at the people like us and they laugh Laughs feel like attacks Attacks on walls that are already crumbling Crumbling like our self-esteem and our hopes and dreams Dreams that are fading away
They say it doesn't matter. That they can fix things With some pills, or a rope And everything will be okay. “Why keep going?” they say. “Nothing that I do matters.” “Nothing can help me.”
She walks in her room picks up her razor, grabs the pills she sits down on her bed, and she cries "Why? Why me!" she screams Everyone sighs Some may even roll their eyes
Batteries don't last forever Juice oozes with every standing O Your rays and beams lit up Penetrated the humorless The light was sold with every ticket The silver screen molded into a stake
My mind holds me hostage Torturing me with the memories,
A mother's love is so deep and true there is nothing she wouldn't do for you. A mother's love will always and forever try to protect you and keep you from feeling blue. A mother's love will be there for you on a drop of a dime.
It can go away so easily All this pain, this fear This loneliness, these tears I can make it go away.   It can go away so easily Just three pills too many A small slit to a fragile wrist
The Bystander  
Life isn't easy, we all know this We try to be strong for our friends And family but sometimes it just gets  Too hard to cope, and then they miss   You because of your mistake, the one that 
Being girl and growing up watching Disney classic You think we all love the princesse Not this girl, I fell in love with the Genie played by Robin Williams His death shocked the nation
Wouldn’t it be easy? A hand full of pills, Gently sliding down my throat, Poisoning my body,
 
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing, That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her, That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds, That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
You know that girl who's always smiling and laughing, That girl who isn't popular, but everyone likes her, That girl who can cheer anyone up within seconds, That girl who loves and cares for everyone?
Wake up late, Mornings I hate Don't like leaving my bed The smell of bacon Brings a cravin' Jam spread over bread Hash browns or home fries Always satisfies Kethchup on top
Reading! Writting! Things that make people cringe but makes smilegive me words over sports give me a book over TV
I have a secret to confess
There is no use fighting it.  Instinct. It’s inside us.
Suicide isn't the way out. I know it seems like it would make everyone else's life simpler. But it won't It's not worth it. Your parents will mourn. Your friends will cry. People will notice.
The sun comes up, it's been a hard night. Her eyes are red, swollen from nights of fighting her own inner demons. The ones no one even realizes exists. She drags herself from her bed, her sanctuary, 
Look up kid, the stars are still in place, the moon hasn’t left, there’s no pressure there. So stay, watch the sky. Just, stay. Don’t hide, the leaves are changing and the field is dead,
Open skys, please open Wide. Hold my wings and allow me to glide. Take my pain that I hide. And bring through the clouds a brand new tide.
My heart is like glass One word One action Can shatter it so easily   My heart is like glass No father Arguements everyday Sorrow and heartache   My heart is ike gass
She was getting skinnier By the day So much thinner By the week. The sickness Invading her body; Intruding, Uninvited, Fatal. Her bones Protruding. Her mother
My response to the group piece "Rape Poem to End All Rape Poems" by Rutgers University   At the College Slam Poetry Competition there was a group piece titled: “A Rape Poem to End All Rape Poems”
Have you ever felt alone,like no one cares about you? Felt alone even when you where with a bunch of other people?
Everyword you say to me hits me like a razor blade cool metel against warm skin
Silent cries that got ignorged I lost my faith and all the worth in ones self... didnt want to live One cut to the skin I felt the adrenaline rush something like
Why would you just stand and watch? What if it was your friend or family? Feeling emotionally lost. Feeling as if no one is there. Feeling embarassed.
I draw the blade across my skin,Like a maestro con
How can someone get to the point in their life where death deems so right?   When you wake up Every single day Wishing for an end to it all.   And more specifically,
Once upon a time there was a wandering child Who found herself in a cold, dark wasteland. Once it was her safe haven, now her never-waking nightmare. She searches in the fog for the answers.  
Some call it crazy, Some say it’s sick, but I think it’s freedom, the pain is fierce, but quick.   Some say that it’s a sin, just a little to risqué. But it helps to release the pain
Life is a prison Won’t someone let me out? There’s no one around To hear when I shout.   Climb the walls of insanity Jump into the pit of despair. If I fall it won’t matter
My toes touch the edge, I look down. I see the darkness beneath the ground.   I look up, searching for light. All I see is darkness deep in the night.  
In a life full of sorrow and strife, The only thing I want to do is hold the knife. The knife that cuts, the knife that scars, The knife that stops most of the wars.   The wars inside, the fights on the out.
Is it worth it? He finnesed me with ease Anything he wanted was his Love, sex, money, drugs ----anything for him He said he'd always love me, no matter what he'd done
dissapointment when the 16 year old boy kills himself for no known reason how your bestfriend changes faster than the seasons and how when its winter you want summer and when its summer you want fall
Open to the world Just a second As my stomach is twirled I look down and see how hectic
Still pulchritudinous, I can see you now, No Mystery here; nor why or how, ~ The color of perfume caressing your arms, This damn velvet scent will never change,
My love, my other half the light soon to shine in my eyes         and awaken me to an adventure of a lifetime, a ride of the century and the joy ill feel for so many years,            the thought of you my one and only  brings tears to my eyes , a
Have you ever thought of suicide? If you’re strong enough to put a blade to your throat? Or a gun to your head?
I walked a mile to high school everyday. I sat for six hours. I learned about subjects that I didn't care about. When school was over I walked a mile home and spent my own time  doing more work.
The cold on my feet As I walk to your fate… The lump in my throat As I hold in your tears… The numbness in my body As I think of your feelings… I’m sorry. He comes in, Asks me if I’m ok. I say I’m fine, But I know I’m not. I’m sorry.
What Do You MEAN I'm Suspended?  Im not allowed to say that in class? Im not allowed to say that thinking about taking my life isn't me being a coward but instead you being inconsiderate?
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle. When the veins in the neck Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw, Blood pressure rises.  
Let’s play a game, we’ll start with you Tell you what I feel, not of use Arrogant, lazy, always crude Tug another knot, tie the noose   Cowardly ways, I’ll take the blame
She said I spoke her life when I spit my suicide to teenage Bible campers who might never hear our story otherwise "At the age of eight, I had a handle on my life, and connecting to that handle
Delinquents with damaged egosWhat lies behind a smile?A fragile soul cracked like shingle tileAs the cold wind blows
There seemed to be no way out. I couldn’t scream and I wouldn’t shout. I let it go in a dangerous way. Too much has happened for me to say
I'm running, but going nowhere. I need help. Help me try to get through all these nightmares that keep racing through my mind. How long will it last? Someone, anyone, help me.  
The pen is mightier than the sword As the cut is weaker than the word And while your body is greatly scarred In your heart you are even more scared   So I write for you And give you words to heal
Your body's getting cold, your lips are turning blue. why did you do it? you're the only one who knew, I see the earth below like the pillow on your bed, no ropes no guns you overdose instead.
Hello My Name is AnshulAnd I have a secret I’ve been keeping from all of youIm 16 and Pregnant
The monster.  It is hungry.  It needs to get out.  It needs to get away.  It claws at the bars.  Knaws on its cage.  It needs to be free.  The monster scratches  And bites 
Large, mystical, and unpredictable, He guided us through the night. He saw us enter the alley That led us to shivering from fright.  
Here to remind him of his past She stares him in the eye, Glaring, for years, it seems to last.   On his arms, by a sleeve she’s masked;
“I have never truly felt as though I've belonged to this world,” I tell myself, “This is what is destined for me, the moment my life has encouraged and has been building up to.
Blissfully dancing, each crimson tear One by one creating a river Each river unique Yet each river filled with sorrow Why has each river been painfully caused? Each stripe, filled with red hatred
her blood stained sleeves cover her arms hiding the wounds of her terrible pain she wears a smile so you cant see the real her, who she is even when it's hot, she wears the jackets, long sleeve shirts
THIS ONE IS FOR ME: WE NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES A LITTLE LOVE AT TIMES. Came home from an exhausting day on the job Dogs barking greeting you we step in the hood. everybody knows anybody
I made three phonecalls on a sunday. My parents didn't answer. My best friend didn't answer. I called 911 and she told me to tell the officer when he got to my home. I called for help. My wrists were slit.
Enough is enough you tell yourself. You wish you had a sense of stealth. You wish to leave this frail life Even if it’s with a knife.
On the bed thinking. Where's my razor So I can cut up. Where's my razor So I can take this pain away Why do people consistently bully or judge me when they don't even know me?
Weak bones Curled toes Soft cries Nine lives Was her only wish
who said it wasn't love? my experiences have told me it was closer to love closer than anything I had experienced. this life I now hold, it wasn't created by an act of immoral actions.
Tapping fingers on a desk No one notices Tapping fingers on the keys Everyone laughs Tapping fingers on my head Everything is hurting Tapping fingers on the trigger Nothing
sometimes you dont know how you will feel, sometimes you dont know how you will react, sometimes you are so bottled up you dont know what to do, sometimes you do things you didnt realize you did,
she sees herself as a nobody, and to others shes a nobody by the time shes a somebody she'll again be a nobody.
Parents tried to hear me, People tried to fear me The letter I wrote said “Dear me,” But I wouldn’t let anyone near me Feeling like a doll nailed up against the wall Wanting to fall, and just let go of it all
She looks calm and collected on the surface, Under her tough shell she is screaming. Inspiration for life and future are no where, Can anyone ever love a mistake like her? In her mind she will never be good enough.
I shall wait with bated breath, because These lacerations are tattooed on my back Initiating the tears falling down my cheek while the scars Spell out the hurt I’ve endured, Spill out my pain through the wounds and
DOES ANYTHING MATTER ANYMORE DOES IT MATTER THAT WHEN YOU'RE DOING GOOD ONE LITTLE INDISCREPANCY CAN CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFESTYLE
The mirror this morning hisses at me I hear the croaks of past critique And for some reason, I agree This day is cold and bleak Time sprints in silence And jogs when I speak
Please don’t feel alone, For there are people surrounding you with their love. Please don’t beat yourself down, For you could reach for the stars. Please don’t harm yourself,
I walk by myself, alone. Nobody seems to notice or care. Emotionally I seem to have not grown. I have thoughts I cannot share.
who are you to tell me im no good to make fun of those from the hood to bitter those once sweet like honey to down those with litte or lots of money is it true that your not satisfied
She screams, she cries She takes off her disguise She begs the world to see They will never see.
some people disregard the actions they make. many tend to forget the opportunities they take. but when it comes to love, and the true definition. they don’t know until it’s gone, that something was missing.
She still remembers him. The only man to know her touch She gave him all she had to offer but he didn't leave her much more than some memories. The only ones she'll ever know.
A smile, a nod, some kind of love, a wink, a glance, a knowing smirk, a friend, a lover, a neighbor, a sister, a brother, a cousin, an aunt, a mother, an uncle, a father, a stranger, a phone call, a text, a profession, a secret, an invitation, a l
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