disconnected

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My body was a tenement for each limb was its own entity yet still connected.    ~awatr
You know I think it's kind of funny How we say, almost excessively, that are now a more connected humanity in this, the "amazing" 21st century. I mean, "We're more connected than ever!", right?
For a year My eyes were on you My faith in you too Your words in my head The tears on my bed For a year I belonged to you And not with you I kissed in vain And took the pain.
As we sit here in this liminal space Do you feel that? Do you feel something? Do you feel anything at all? Truck stops along the 5 and The middle of the woods High school hallways on a Sunday.
There a a series of Masks They come in many forms: from smiles and laughter from contempt and scorn. I hide behind many but not enough. I use them to keep away from others to save my heart. 
I fear them knowing who I am. I fear the day when I am no longer able to keep up the facade. I fear that the real me will never be good enough.  I fear the judgements. I fear the abuse. I fear the critism.
I am the beast The one you look at and instantly know is freak I am the beast The one you say is so weak I am the beast The one who aches in the corner trickling tears like the rain falls
You told me you would try to fix me
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