suicidal awareness

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There is the slight moment of regret where we wish we could take it back and if even for just a fraction of a second we may hope it just scares us out of doing it again.  
For what I fearI put all that I wanted down I cannot move forwardAnd can no longer returnImpassive rustTo be something elseThat I never was Life should've been the one thing grantedBut now I hate myselfFor what I will not do Left all aloneThe worl
Where I came from being depress is not allowed being depress is not even  known the thought of suicidal is left to the "Whites" so I'm not allowed to cry out loud Where I came from hurting yourself is evil
I wake up in the middle of the night, my eyes low, my breath shallow and sharp.  I lay down in the middle of the day, tears stinging my eyes, bleeding arms and hips. 
Fool me one time shame on you…Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you…Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs load the chopper, and let it rain on you precipitating shells of emptiness disturbing the atmosphere surrounding its casing.
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