01 - Spinning

It feels like spring.

That jittery bloom in your belly

when their name flashes in thought or on a screen.

My smile, wide and waiting,

a garden thirsty for sunlight.

But then your name,

like a soft ache,

threads its way through me.

Anxiety pools in my ribs,

melting through my body as your voice shapes the syllables of my name.

Each sound turns me to marshmallow,

malleable,

melting,

spilling into the crevices of your sweet nothings.

So warm, so inviting,

I doubted that the flame could ever burn me.

Hurt me.

And suddenly, I'm spinning

a child on a merry-go round,

feet kicking, laughter tumbling,

forgetting that the ride always stops.

And when it does, 

the dizziness begins.

I wonder,

when the spinning fades,

when the ground feels far away,

and the vertigo takes me-

will you stay?

Will you steady me?

Hold my hair if I fall apart

and throw up all your sweet nothings?

After all,

you were the one

spinning me.