01/31/2015

You’ve learned a lot about yourself Lauren, and that’s important. You’ve learned how hard it is to love yourself and how much effort it takes to be able to feel good. But that’s just it. You’re constantly learning things about the world and about yourself and I know at times it seems terrifying but you have to keep going because there will be more lessons to be learned and more triumphs to achieve and things won’t get easier but it’ll be different somehow. Things will be different. It’ll be better. You’ll be happier. You’re leaving for school in the fall and that’s scary. All you’ve known for the past 12 years of your life is to wake up and go to school, only to return home to start the cycle over again. But this is going to be something new, something that tastes of independence that doesn’t rely on a constant cycle of wake up, work, sleep, repeat. It’s something that feels more like freedom and happiness. Something new. And I think that’s what you need Lauren. Something new to break the cycle of hatred you have going on inside of you. The flames that lick the walls of your insides are blackening the pieces that you’ve always adored the most. Soon you can fight them. (January 31st 2015)