03/30/2012

I can close my eyes some nights and picture everything, feel everything. It’s so serial sometimes that I can actually feel the tears running down my face. It wasn’t the first time in a waiting room. Waiting to receive any type of news. It seemed like hours When it had only been minutes I can remember going to the bathroom, Heart racing, hands shaking as I began to pray. Something told me to move To find out what was going on. The closer I got to your room the more I felt weak You were surrounded by so many people I couldn’t move I couldn’t feel anything I couldn’t breathe It was something like a scene in a movie. It wasn’t true It wasn’t happening I couldn’t hear anything that was going on I was lifeless. But they stopped moving Why, how could this be. Nothing else could possibly happen to break this family. It was done It was over I have never cried so hard in my life. My body gave out I literally fell to my knees in that hallway Gasping for breath, reaching for anything and everything I could to pull myself up. To run away from what was happening. The only thing that was moving were my tears So I laid there My eyes shut tight My fists balled I was there that night I watched you die I watched your life leave your body You are gone now I will love you always You are in Gods hands now