You accept the love you think you deserve.

And you do not deserve that-

Not that.

 

I understand.

Only  a deeply damaged soul

would have danced with the devil.

The words that slipped through his tongue

like venom that seeped into your body

And cracked your bones.

 

He broke all of you.

 

“I did it because i love you.”

“This is your fault.”

Replays in your head like a broken record.

He told you so many times,

that eventually

You told yourself the same thing.  

 

How could you be such  a

beautiful

little

fool

?

 

When he told you

that heaven was

when

he looked you in the eyes

when he was between your thighs,

you felt as though

he

saw

you

.

 

But, his vision of heaven

is a different thing you see.

Because when he touched you,

HELL was the only thing your symphony was singing

 

How could you possibly believe

that heaven is when

hell beats you until your numb.

To the point you cannot feel.

To scared to move.

Yet not knowing if you even could.

 

That night

It hurt to breathe.

As if your bruised ribs are too small for your lungs, 

and your tiny tiny heart

is not tiny enough

your organs felt foreign

To

your

own

body

.

 

So

tell

me

.

How could your heaven possibly be him?

I know,

you simply cannot forgive someone

Who caused you so such pain-

 

The torment you feel is eternal so

You pray to God with a soundless voice

Too afraid to say these words out loud...

 

Behind the closed doors

When the script flips-

And the you’s turn into me’s

 

What am I to do?

Fight

back

!

Until the blood I see is more than my own;

To the point where I can paint the heaven over his hell.

 

Now I will blind him with my resistance.

He tried to kill me,

burry me deep into the ground.

But

little

did

he

know

.

.

.

That I am a seed, and I will grow.