Broken by words
I trace memories like paper-thin chances,
Leaking out of wounds too stubborn to heal
I reject platelets
Like moments
And deny the pain is real.
I search his face for rejection
And leave marks on his body.
Complacency kills more than HIV
According to HIM…
I have too much love to give, so he suggested I get a puppy,
Lucky me,
I have a filthy projection of my insecurities asking me to spare some of the covers and Not tonight because he has a headache!
Well I have a toothache
and I still get on my knees and try to fit all of your pity into my mouth
and wash it down with waiting.
I am no longer online games,
ATM,
and entourage
and purple haze,
I am sour,
spoiled way past the expiration date
I have grown lumpy and thick,
sick of my own reflection…. she smiles to much,
when the lines in her face resemble pain,
doubled over on bathroom floors,
fingers smashed closed
asking for God to spare my story.
He always heard me,
but by the time he sent down the blessings
I was slowly undressing,
peeling off right and wrong and being his one and only
If only if it would make him forget the smell of rotting flesh
I was dying
This piece is way past the point of crying
I NEED to GET OUT
When a man tells you he loves you
Digs in your chest
Past the breastplate
Self- esteem
And God
He has gone too far
And I allowed it
Wrapped my legs around his promises and held on tight
Airtight alibies
We both knew what ‘forever’ meant
It meant as long as I didn’t check your fb
As long as you didn’t check my texts
We lived blissfully unaware that we kissed with both eyes open
Both legs wrapped around another
Lover
We’ve let this get too… far