At 12 Years Old

At 12 years old, You lied to me

you lied when you said you loved me

you lied when you told me I was beautiful

At 12 years old, you tricked me

you made me believe I had to do more

you made me believe I was never good enough

At 12 years old, you used me

you touched my body as if the light of life yet

you touched my soul as if it were death itself

At 12 years old, you made me this

you made me see the world with constant distrust

you made me doubt everything I had ever thought was good

At 12 years old, you punished me

you told me words of love just so

you could whip me with words of hate

At 12 Years old, you live on

you live on free of charge because what's a child's word

you live on without a second thought of what you did

At 16, I fear the world is too many ways.

 I doubt myself despite the kind things I am told

 I can not save myself from the comfort the dark brings my when the memories and the nightmares seap out from the depths of my mind

 The parts of my mind where I have tucked everything away as far as I can to destroy the thing that turns the gears to the voices in my head

 When I find there is no way out I scream for help that will never come

 I scream for someone, anyone to her my cries, to answer my questions, yet I go unheard from the coffin of my soul, laid to rest by my wish to die at 12 years old.