12.17.17

i’m not a fighter but i fight daily

fight for my sanity

fight for my humanity

depression and anxiety tag team me

threaten to both beat me

and if i tell no one would believe me

like the abused and the abusing

because no one can hear my muffled screams

and even when i bleed i’m still not crazy

i could disappear and still be their little baby

i’m a window

they see right through me

and if something appears that isn’t supposed to be

they polish it away gravely

i feel greedy

for wanting everything to be about me

for wanting everyone to see

but at the same time i want to flee

get on a knee and plea

for the abuser to stop abusing me

i’m being bullied mentally

i’m tired of not being taken seriously

they see my pain and tell me:

“it’s not that deep”

“get out my feelings!?”

“happiness is a choice to we?”

but my cuts are deep

physically and mentally

that’s like shooting someone in the head

and telling them just to breathe

that’s like cutting someone’s eyes out

and saying squint to see

why is this happening to me

they say the good die young

so i might live an eternity

i wish this world was good to me

i wish i could just be carefree

i wish i didn’t feel like debris

just floating in the breeze

having no real place to be

CAN THE WORLD JUST WAIT FOR ME