12.22.2018 (candlelight.)

i waited so long, i waited for someone to strike a match, to light me up and turn me on i wanted so badly to burn bright, to light someone's way, for them to take comfort and find solace in my presence then you came and found me and that vision for myself altered because you struck the match and lit me up you turned me on and i burned bright for you looking back now, perhaps too bright because you used me for your own pleasure, kindling my fire when i was convenient, when you needed light through the darkness and i did it  every.  time. i thought it was what i wanted, it had seemed like it at the time but little did i know that every time you lit that flame, i was being spent, energy being wasted on urgency losing myself to this fire that consumed me and once you were done you simply blew me out and laid me down it felt like forever until you came back but nothing felt better than the rush you gave when you picked me back up even though i knew the forever i craved was merely a second with you until finally, i had been used up and the last time you pinched my flame, i knew it was just that and then there i was spent, but rid of the one who did it i had thought it was what i wanted but the longer i was left alone, the more i thought that i wanted to go back even if it meant i get nothing in return even if it meant I get n o t h i n g so i waited so long, i waited for you to light me up again, turn me on and let me burn light your darkness, because i found solace in your presence but you never came and found me and i waited