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Sun, 02/04/2018 - 21:53 -- flamska

My anxiety attacking me like my racing heart when I cup my ears too hard as I count to 287.

Crying because I want to be happy,

But tired of that fucking dysphoria making me wish for misery.

I run away to hide from the world so I can break down in the dark,

But I'm afraid of the dark.

I'm afraid of having breath on the weekends because im sitting in this renovated garage,

Holding my breath until Monday comes back.

I'm afraid of the sarcastic fun-fact that I can go days without speaking a single word,

And start forgetting my own voice.

I can't look anywhere but the ground so I can't see their faces as I try to describe my thoughts that I don't even understand,

And I'm fidgeting with my second favorite pen,

Telling myself that everything will be okay,

But the end of the world keeps rushing through my head like the hungry sea,

Swallowing everything down to the deep bottom,

Where there's nothing but the hushed unknown,

And that,

That fills my entire being with dread.

Calm down Anxiety.

Please.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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