I look at this as if this an opportunity to redeem some sort of hole in me that’s holding me hostage

You’re looking at this as if you’re missing the point, as if you’re missing the art because you’re seeing nothing at all

We have to see to believe just about everything and that’s probably the downfall in the spirit of the believers in God

You can’t see it meaning you can’t believe it and you have to give it all up to someone who will just give you everything

You neglect me because they took everything from me not in the conventional sense but this was shit you didn’t see

And now I’m swearing because this freestyle of spoken words calls for some attention to the fact that I’m mashing emotions into this keyboard… but I can’t break it, that’s another thousand dollars

So instead I hang on the cliff of emotional, giving up, or just falling off the edge into the pit of despair you so well opened up for me... Yea you USFSP that’s what you did for me, and Lynn did it too

Every college did it, they wanted me, they even told me they wanted me bad.. why did I neglect the fact I don’t know my real dad

That doesn’t matter anymore get this goddam garbage out of your head they want you to feel like you have to pay them back til’ death.

They’re taking everything from me and I’m becoming a soldier of their will because I’ll fight for them I put that in my undying will.

I’ll give them all the Bull pride I can but does financial aid understand I’m screaming at them for help that I’ll walk the green mile

What you can’t see but what I can see glaring in my face like it wants to beat my ass is twelve thousand dollars in one year that you just scoffed at

Where’s your parents?

They gotta eat too

But you’re white male middle class American why isn’t your shit together?

Assuming makes an ass out of you and me is what Ms. Hay’s taught me in 9th grade Geometry

Conversations with my government

Put the shapes together and I’m locked inside this spherical device gaining steam as it goes down the perpetual hill of life

Failure is this option that I am prepared to not exercise but it’s the monkey on the back that makes me want to be a poacher

Throw me in jail for this kind of shit, but I guarantee you there’s teens on this website that won’t see this that wish they had

Instead an elder of mine will read this disgusted at the ferocity of a man that was lit aflame by what? Poetic justice

You can argue that this isn’t poetry. But this sure is art, and art speaks powerful volumes. So at least give me half the credit I’m due.

That scholarship would be nice too

We can change this artistic expression to $11K and I’ll add an extra line that symbolizes happiness that maybe God had my back this time

I’m nothing short of an imbecile but even I’m granted the knowledge from the fruitful that this isn’t the kind of power poetry poem that wins a scholarship

This isn’t the sort of poem that wins the critical acclaim it earns shame among those who want to destroy my name

For standing for something!

Otherwise I’m nothing pondering why I wanted to be someone in the first place

Each line flows off the fingers and through the typed keys displaying itself on Microsoft word that excel can’t believe I’d excel so far into this dialogue

Are you excited?

I’m so excited I can’t explain it, I respond while I can hear mom ringing in my head twelve thousand dollars we don’t have

I’m a little nervous though

You’ll be fine

Conversations with the acquainted

I can’t explain the mad hatter inside me throwing his cards into the air to put his life into the hands of 52 pick up

There’s only 4 Aces on deck that’s something like a 7% chance I make it through this alive

…And I picked up a joker

That’s really the joke though, the whole joke of this situation I was put in that just when I thought my life was movin

The delivery van never showed up

I thought I did it right, right? You’re supposed to go through all your primary education surpassing the expectations when they said you’d never read like the rest of them

Do what you have to do and college would take care of itself but when you’re 12 years old they don’t know tell you to multiply by it one hundred and tell you this is everything you’re working for

This is the exact life you’ve been working towards. Do you like it?

Who is real anymore?

Lupe would fight for me, Donald Glover will continue to inspire me, and I make this shit look like as if I’m Sarah Kay aspiring

Shouldn’t you stick with what you are? White kid that raps, next Eminem, everything you previously stated is so blasphemous you want to be the same as them?

You’re crazy! You’re weird!

I’m everything I want to be.

Stripped to nothing by the institution

Taking away everything to my name, everything I have, just for me to spark a revolution

A cultist reaction, but I don’t want to build behind me a faction

I want to build something, I don’t know what yet. But if society would listen maybe they would stand behind me on this

Like this, what you see in front of you. A whole not of nothing but blank pages filled by the vigor of a man who will stop at nothing to fill them

Fear me!

Take that as a sign of respect because that’s how I see it, you either understand this shit, or you believe it

You see a boy angry over twelve thousand dollars that he can scrape by one year in college with a future blurred out by hashtags not instituted by social media

I see me crunchin these numbers asking myself. Self. Why am I spewing out something worth twelve thousand dollars all over myself?