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He said he loves me so it must be in my mind
This is how he shows his love
The other night when he kicked me down from behind
His job is stressful he does not mean harm
It is only venting
Un-consented touching, calling me names, twisting my arm
I cannot say I understand
Yet it is how he deals
This is nothing, I will withstand
He does not want anyone to know
When I asked why not, he replied I would keep quiet if I love him because he loves me
And so the bruises and scars, I will not show
I deserve it, I was busy soothing our baby, and it sounds simple, but I burned his toast
He has a stressful job it is the least I can allow him to do
But if he loves me, why do these thoughts haunt me like a ghost
Is this part of a normal relationship
No, I should not question his love
At work I could not completely hide my busted lip
They asked me who, what, where, when, why, and how
I told them it is nothing I just an accident
I do not know where to turn, but I want out of this fear right now
It was not always like this
We used to be inseparable until he knew he had me trapped in marriage
Before he showed this side of him, the worst he would do is give me a kiss
While at the pediatrician, I read informational pamphlets to pass the time
Then I came across the warning signs of domestic violence
I went through the checklist six times and realized I am a victim of this hidden crime
Isolation, control, demands
These are not part of a healthy relationship, they are abuse
This is not okay; I will not take it anymore
I have lived in denial for too long
This relationship has turned from love into a war
Keeping me away from my friends and family and the physical harm induced with his hands
If he finds out I am questioning him
All of the joys are over, he will leave me, or worse he will kill me
This change must happen to save the baby’s life and my own; this is not some random whim
Three years ago we promised each other until death do us part
I fear that is imminent
What hurts more than the fresh wounds is my heart
I can no longer hold off fleeing; soon it will be too late
While he went out to buy his Camels
I accepted that I do not deserve this; no one deserves this kind of hate
We are getting out of this, we have to
My coworker helped me pack the baby’s bag and took me in
The other things do not matter because I made it out; I am one of the few

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