15 Year Old Me

To 15 Year Old Me,

I know,

The world is crashing down

and peace is a thing of the past

Loneliness torments you,

and the back of your eyelids is your only refuge

Another divorce

You've lost your brothers

Your home is gone

And the questions never stop,

"Is everything okay at home?"

"Why'd you stop cheerleading?"

"Why dont you live with your brothers?"

Stop answering

Maybe they mean well

But you don't owe anyone an answer,

don't satiate their curiosity

They take your answers and run

They don't offer help

No words of advice

No one opened their arms for comfort

And that's okay

Because I do care

And I know something you don't know

We make it out alive

But one thing has to be done first

Choose you

Let yourself heal 

And do so without obligation to anyone else

Cry yourself to sleep

Write in your journal

Pray until your knees ache and your voice cracks

FIND YOURSELF

Take a genuine interest in yourself

and those around you, and dwell in it

Dig unil you've reached the bottom and then start another hole

Notice the beauty that surrounds you

Notice the colors of the flowers

The twinkle in your dog's eye when he sees you after school

Notice the braveness of every curl on your head

And then notice that this same beauty is in you

And realize that it's been there all along

And then never forget it