17

I had a dream about you last night for the 17th day in a row,

 17 days since you’ve been gone, leaving me in this dark abyss

 17 horror-filled nights,

 17 stretched out long afternoons without you,

 when I walk out to the balcony the brisk air slaps me in the face, 

my lips chapped, my nose a scarlet shade,

 you loved this weather, the biggest reason why we chose to travel thousands of miles away from home in order to feel this breeze every day for the rest of our lives,

 that’s what you told me, 

139 days before you left, 

I didn’t care much either way, I would follow you to the shadowlands if you felt the need to go, you were my home, 

my eyes begin to sting as I think of you,

 all the memories we’ve shared, 

the nights we stayed up just to watch the sun come up in the break of dawn

 

 

 I could drown in your eyes, 

a pool of pure crystal waters, 

mine were put to shame compared to yours, 

even though you always tried to prove me otherwise, 

eyelashes long, cascading a shadow onto sharp features,

 rosy lips, designed for me, 

hair as golden as the isles themselves, it would soon begin to pile up on the ground, as we began to realize the cold truth 

 

 

your mother misses you, 

has called me every day since you went away just to check if my heart was still beating without you,

 it has been, 

doesn’t feel like it though, 

life at home was always hard,

 many tears shed on the daily, 

words cursed, 

glass shattered, 

you made it better, 

showed me what I was worth, 

taught me that what they said about me wasn’t true, 

you gave me comfort when times were rough, 

whispered sweet nothing to my ear, 

when they slammed the door on my face your home became a host to 4,

 jay, me, you, and my sorrow which eventually turned into bliss

 

As weeks passed you began to feel weak, 

visits after visits to emergency care and we figured it out, 

4 months they said, 

 you always hated being held back, 

the irony, 

my prayers began to fall flat after so many weeks I assume, 

because next thing I knew “we regret to inform you...” is what began my next 17 days of pain and misery.