1st world Problems

I am,

Broken

Shattered behind how my education

Deprived me of all hope of a normal life

What is normal though?

Normal for me

Is waking up in the middle of the night

Drenched in sweat, 

heavy breathing. 

I am a person

Full of hate, depression and anxiety

I am a person full of nightmares

Full of sadness

Full of paranoia

Images of family dying,

falling through the cracks

seams stretching apart. 

I am a shattered girl

full of dreams

full of hopes

Until randomly, panic seeks

Attacking me, making me question everything

from money, to love, to fame, to my past poverty

It sucks because before I turned 16, food was hard to buy for me

Life was hard to eat and sleep

Drowsy days and drowsy nights, but now that my father sleeps good at night

Knowing his job will keep us up good

Higher Tax bracket, what great news!

Except for me, the child they didnt save up for

couldn't save up for

Struggling to go to college

loans and debts 

fill me up with hate and doubt

So how does one, go to college?

When

I AM

Just a girl

with so many 1st world problems

that even the voices in my head just squander.

I am

I just am.