20 Years

Grew up knowing who I would be No questions asked, my parents chose for me Dr., a lawyer, White House, a difference I would make But to their dismay, none of these roads I would take This is my story, 20 years so far Of why I’ve never really felt quite up to par I never cared for sports Little league, or t-ball Forced to try out Only to cry after I fall “You’re MY son,” my dad would say “It’s in your blood.” Really, dad? Blood? This blood just feels like mud. Always pushing, always shoving Never hugging Always yelling, always swearing Never loving These times toughened me for junior high No acknowledgement. No hellos. No goodbyes I would go home and cry to my mom But I knew I just had to keep pressing on Freshman year, the year to be brave The year I came out a young and scared gay Acceptance everywhere, no one was mad No one of course, except for my dad I wrote him a letter To sing him my song And his first words were “Where did I go wrong?” After that I made a choice To be in advanced classes Pro: I found my voice Con: They kicked my ass And to top it all off My parents decided to split No passion, no love I don’t know, but they quit But one thing is for sure The divorce wasn’t amicable But if you ask me It wasn’t a terrible option Then I found theatre My one true escape It saved me and got me through it all The drugs, the pain, and the rape Theatre is my passion It’s opened up so many doors It’s the reason I graduated With a 3.64 But it didn’t stop me from cutting And trying to find some life To prove I could feel something I used a long serrated knife Until a special someone Let’s just call him Matt Convinced me stop And never look back He made me promise To find another way Just so you know, Matt I haven’t cut since that day I made it to graduation I sat in the second row I was psyched to go to college But little did I know I’d fall back into The Hole With narcotics and booze It turns out college Wasn’t the road I’d choose Didn’t want to go Scared of flunking out The path I took Wasn’t a much better route I drank it all throughout the night And smoked it all throughout the day I did whatever I could To make the pain go away I threw a lot of parties And I made a lot of friends But it turns out those “friends” Weren’t friends till the end So I stopped binging And got my act together I got a good job And decided I was better Along the way And throughout the strife I met a boy named Daniel And he’s the love of my life Back in September I applied for MWSU I got accepted in a pinch And realized there’s so much I can do The road ahead me is just so bright I’ve got passion in me I’ve got fight As I look in the mirror What do I see? I see the young man I was meant to be This is my story Twenty years so far Of why I fight And why I try hard I’ll marry my man And share a future with him Keep an eye on my light Because its never going to dim.