2017

Open the door

Get on my knees 

Lean over the toilet

Make a peace sign

And shove it down my throat 

It will sting

It will itch 

It will bleed

But in the end it will be a victory 

I’m bad at everything 

Everything except for this 

Eat, and eat, and eat

Then make it all leave

I want help more than anything

But don't know where to find it

Can I talk to my parents?

No, our culture doesn’t discuss emotions

Can I talk to my counselor?

No, she never has the time of day for me

Can I talk to my teachers? 

No, they’d tell my counselor

Can I talk to my friends?

No, I moved my senior year

Cliques were formed a long time ago, and they aren’t seeking new members

So I’m here by myself 

In a bathroom stall

Knuckles cut and bleeding 

Tears running down my face

Acid buring my throat with every breath I take

As painful as it is

It’s my only comfort 

In the loneliest of times 

It’s my best friend 

I get up

Tear off some toilet paper 

Dry off my hands

And open the door 

Someone asks if I’m okay 

I say yes

They don’t believe my lie

So I just pray that they don’t tell anyone