The 20th of July

As your birthday approaches,

The tears get harder to hold back,

As I look back on my motives,

Remembering when my heart was in tact.

That day that I broke your heart,

I also destroyed mine,

And now that we're so far apart,

I long for the light that your smile shined.

It's so hard to live this life

Without my other half,

Knowing when I sleep tonight,

I'll get little rest,

When I close my eyes, see your face,

And watch it disappear without a trace.

Every night in my dreams,

I stretch my arm out to hold your hand,

But cannot seem to reach,

As you're taken away by another man.

Even all these years later,

I think about you every day.

I try to place in your mind our shared memories,

Every night when I pray.

Once that day comes,

That you forget our last memory,

My pain will be too great to numb,

And death will set me free.

Until then I will not release the hope,

That maybe tomorrow I'll have your hand to hold.

I'm begging God to please,

Open your heart to forgive me,

For my biggest mistake, deciding to leave;

Realizing this is why my heart has become so cold.

Jarred Shah

7/17/2020

4:47pm