24 hours cant last a lifetime

my eyes are open but my heart is shut, lure me in with lies ill never follow my gut. this addiction is in my blood and enough is never enough. destiny has cheated me, forcing me to decide upon the woman that i idolise and the life i want to live, with her i cant compete, without her im not complete. that side of me is captivating, who knew if i choose ill never know what would have been true. if i leave her now im sure these vices will be the death of me, i cannot sleep i cannot eat, i dont know what to do. help me now, choose for me, tell me where to go. should i flip a coin, either way we'll always mourn