312am

Another restless night

Thoughts aren’t right

Anxieties are rough and crushing

Mind holds a vice grip but squeezes it all too tight

Took some sleep aid

Tripled the dose

Will I ever just relax?

Hell only knows

New symptoms, new signs

Exhausted from walking wavering lines

Feels like I wrote this yesterday,

Must have written it hundreds of times

Mother tries to listen but only hears

She can’t comprehend my inner fears

I don’t put them on the surface

To control their worry, is my purpose

I’m not too scared but I think they’d be

I can’t discuss with them the real me

The me with no fears, cares, or dreams

Destined for a numb life as it seems

Won’t do it myself but I want a way out

Nothing left but tormenting self doubt

Please just let it all fade to black

Too many scars that I can’t take back

332 A.M. Now I’ve been at this for twenty minutes

Rambling, writing, watching the clock change digits

I’ll try again I guess and close my eyes

If it just so happens tonight, I loved you guys.