365 Days

It’s been a year

365 days

I could’ve done things hundreds of way that day

I could’ve sat in a different seat

Chosen not to look at the boy next to me

I could’ve ignored the flirtatious way he looked at me

I could’ve walked out after class

Smiled and walked away

I could’ve assumed he wasn’t single and not asked for his number

I could’ve not taken the time to ask him his name

Not laughed at his jokes

Not taken a second or third look at him

Not asked what his favorite color was

Not laughed at the jokes he told

Not waited for him after

Not asked for his email

Not emailed him

Not sat by him at lunch

Not asked more about him

Not smiled at him as he left

Not agreed when he’d said that he would wait for me after

Not walked back in the school with him after my tour

Not let him drag me towards the poetry teacher

Not let him talk to the teacher about how I was talented and wrote beautiful stories

Not let her ask if we were together

Not heard him say “Not yet but I hope so”

Not sat by him at the assembly

Not introduced him to everyone

Not let him sit right next to me

Not smiled as he said “I’ll text you”

Not checked my spam the next morning and seen his email

Not smiled when he’d said “I needed someone to talk to and you were the first person I thought of”

Not emailed him back

Not asked if he had Google Hangouts

Not video chatted with him for an hour that next night

Not told him I like him

Not ask him if he liked me

Not reconnected the video

Not stayed up late talking

Not smiled when he asked me to be his girlfriend

Not video chatted with him at 11:30 on nights when I couldn’t sleep

Not fallen asleep while talking to him

Not waken up to him saying “I love you beautiful girl”

Not told him I love him

Not told him about prom

Not asked him if he could go

Not talked to him that week before prom

Not let him come after his confession

Not ignored what he had done

Not acted like he’d changed

Not ignored the fact that he called me a bitch at prom

Not played our relationship as perfect

Not smiled every time he asked where his girl was

Not found him in the full room

Not let him eat off my plate

Not danced with him to all those songs

Not been serenaded by those cheesy love songs

Not let him hold my hand a little too tight and mistaken it for love

Not let him call me Princess

Because it’s been almost a year

And I’m still not over him