4 i AM weak

Not at 2 AM.

Never at 2 AM.

At 2 AM the waves that crash against my mind have calmed into a soothing current. I can dip my toes in the saturated sand as the water recedes.

At 2 AM I could be on my side, on my back, or even upside down, but never on my knees. I could be screaming at the top of my lungs, but my fan is on high so neither my roommate or I can hear.

At 2 AM I am at peace.

2 AM is for people who are drunk or in love, I am neither.

4 AM

Always at 4 AM.

At 4 AM my alarm punctures my ear drums like the sound of a wailing mother at a funeral, thrusting me back into the world like a new born child... except no body is waiting to hold me, to wrap me in their sweet embrace and tell me everything will be alright.

At 4 AM, to be frank, I miss you. I miss my lips on your skin the most and that I am equally pained and proud to say. I don't miss you because I love you, I miss you because I know that someone else is.

4 AM is for resilient workers and those who remain unbroken even when they carry their pieces in a tattered cardboard box. 

Both of which I am.