4 years

I had a future to look forward to

A plan that was foolproof

I was going to be someone

She could be proud of

I could do this

If she is right there

Next to me

Guiding me

Pushing me forward

I could do this

I was motivated

Ready to run miles

I repeated to myself

Keep going

Don’t stop

Keep running

Don’t slow down

If you stop or slow down

You fall behind

I fell behind

The motivated wasn’t here

It was over there with her

All I had was desolation

And resentment

Towards people who did nothing

I wouldn’t admit it

I wasn’t happy here

Because she wasn’t here

With me

I hate myself

For not asking for help

If I had said something sooner

I wouldn’t be hating myself

Now for it

I am alone

She is gone

I don’t know what to do

I need her

I need her help

With moving forward