4:03 p.m.

From the first day i ever cried

without reason, i was told to

be stone cold, never show 'em how you feel,

because emotions are bad bad bad

don't use those dirty words.

No Daughter Of Mine Will Cry In Front Of Me

so i held myself high, and kept my thoughts inside

because 

Emotional People Are Weak And You Must Be

Tough 

Tough 

Tough.

so i learned from an early age to cry in quiet

in the shower

where no one can hear the sobs

and the tears mix the my soap

to cry behind closed doors

at 2 am

in the deafening dark

to cry in pain silently

to break down inside and out

without word or anyone knowing

covering my mouth with one hand so i stay quiet

must whisper

hush 

hush

tears running down my lips 

and all i taste is sadness

the other hand on my stomach

or my heart

because i can't decide which hurts more

i'm in pain all over

thinking of everything i did wrong and 

learning how to dry my eyes quicker

so i

Don't Show My Weaknesses.

my vulnerability

my emotions 

get the best of me

but i think i'm getting better

at hiding 

myself.

                                                                                     -c.a.