4'o clock shadow

Nighttime has always been a home for me.

I would linger in my thoughts late into the night,

having some time where everything felt possible.

Time where I was the only voice running through my head.

Slowly, the darkness began to call me into the night.

It was a friend, a companion to guide me through my mind.

The Darkness and I grew closer and closer,

becoming fonder of the deeper parts of each other.

until it wanted to be with me forever, trying to bribe it's way into the daylight.

I stayed strong for a long time,

giving up sleeping, eating

and being myself to keep the darkness away.

But it finally stopped working, and the darkness took over.

My thoughts weren't being guided by the absence of light, 

they were owned by him and if I didn't follow,

I was sent to a personal hell in my mind.

I would yell at my parents, ignore texts for weeks, hide from other people as if

they were a disease I could not dare contract.

The Darkness knew how they would help me out and bring back the day,

so he kept me locked away. 

Brick by Brick and Thought by Thought,

I took my control back, I knew why I needed the light.

I now know why we all need the light.

The light keeps us grounded in our dimension.

The darkness finds his way into our minds and allows us to fall away into different worlds and

think of different lives and corrupt our own images of ourselves.

Little did I know I wasn't talking.

Little did I know I wasn't eating.

Little did I know that he had taken me away,

to the idea of a better me, that doesn't exist.

There's only me and that's the only thing I need.

Is me and this dimension,

with it blowing breezes and fast moving water,

with the trees with years worth of stories and mountains worn with age.

To These powers, To the light and the dark, To the people we fight for and

To Ourselves.