52 Pick Up

You said you can never fall in love And even though your eyes are full of sincerity I see that brown pigment and it reminds me of the mud, of the rut that you’re stuck in Thinking you can never move beyond just a strong liking for People think I’m crazy Because I like has turned into I love and I say it constantly They say you’re kidding yourself Shit, I’d only be kidding myself if I denied the fact That my heart beats just a little bit faster when you come near me As if I have drunk tons and tons of caffeine because my heart feels like it will burst out of my chest When you kiss my neck And I just wanna drink a bottle of you And recycle it And live it day after day after day Because a day of not thinking about you is a day I don’t long for Back in my foolish times When I thought I was just some miniscule piece of a puzzle that a man pondered and picked and played On with his hands and his thoughts and his desires Back when I took a journey in a van and lost myself When his fingers interlocked with mine And his lips brushed my lips But my heart was heavy and filled with discontent Of what was happening to me And you know the rest Later, playing cards with my Dad’s girlfriend to try to erase from my mind that my own house of cards Was demolished and stuck wondering if I could ever play 52 pick up Then there’s you and I have formed a new sense of self A realization that I’m not just part of his peculiar puzzle, but you view me as a masterpiece And you let me paint it and you observe it and maybe one day you’ll love it But when you hold my hand it means so much more than the interlocking fingers of strangers When you kiss me it means so much more than the kiss of a man who only talks to me when I say happy birthday to him on facebook And yes I think I’m going mad Because I am so perplexed at the fact that something so good Could happen to someone like me