7 Times

by RebeccaRubin98

April 5, 2016

My life has been completely designed behind rhymes and metaphors

On my nightstand stands a book full of feeling and emotion tattooed by heart

To keep me sane

1 At age 5 people started to look at me with question marks on the there face

With there pierced eyes at me

I look nothing like my parents

2 Age 7 they told me I was adopted I didn't understand what that meant

People hate what they don't understand

I was confused

3 I was 12 years old they told me again and I ran away

With a feeling of being unwanted

I landed on the street corner

2 guys pulled up in a black sedan and said "aye where you headed"

I turned around

And cried the whole walk home

4 Age 14 my identity became a struggle

I tired 10 personalities a week

I was like Mulan

My reflection was just an empty face in the mirror

Nothing to allow me to feel whole

I felt so isolated

5 15 years old I fell in love with a football star

I could not describe how I felt

Even beyond mosaic tiles

And stain glass windows

2 years wasted

Abuse in one hand and in the other pain and anger

Left hook

Right hook

Upper cut

Broken ribs

And bruised lips

6 At age 17 she got diagnosed with cancer

My mom

My queen

My wrist was going to become a canvas

A place of art work and broken hearts

I had found myself in a dark room

Till there's nothing left to do

But

Wait

My mom has lost something that makes her feel whole

She looks in the mirror with agony

I wish I could understand

How she felt

I wish I could help her

I became so helpless

Last summer was so painful

I cried every night to sleep

I laid in bed for days on end

Tear marks dried on my face

She made it 80% the other 20% is lost, broken

But she made it

That 20%

Is being regenerated

Recreated

7 A few months after my brother died of an over dose

It was like wash rinse & repeat

My emotions were a carousel

Going round & round again

I died 7 times out of my whole life

But I never once

Drew art work on my wrist

Never Have i ran the whole way from home

I've never completely lost myself

I've never hurt myself

Just shut down

Just almost gave up

My whole life has been completely designed behind rhymes and metaphors

I wrote all the 7 times I died

But I tied my self to you

Endlessly

I sit back and write about it

I don't ball it in waiting to explode

But With you by my side I can decide

That Poetry saved my life

I'm stable

I'm breathing

I'm a walking canvas

A piece of art work

Still be edited

And I'm living proof that poetry saves lives

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