7 Years of Hands

Fun Fact: your cells are constantly replacing themselves. After about 7 years all the cells in your body have been replaced.

It's a nice thought isn’t it?

After 7 years, your old body is gone.

After 7 years, i will have a body that he has never touched.

(deep breath)

It’s only been four years and i still feel his hands clawing at my hips and pushing on my thighs.

I feel my skin burning in handprint shapes as i sit alone in my room.

I scratch and claw at my own skin, trying to get rid of the feeling but it never goes away

I feel it slithering up my body, burning my skin until it reaches my throat, pressing down and making it hard to breathe.

Wrapping around my chest and contracting until i am gasping for breath.

Don't! ...touch me…

My skin is all too sensitive.

Nerves screaming at touches that don't exist.

Touches that did exist, but long ago

But not long enough

How long will i have to suffer?

Crying out, trapped in my own body.

It’s been 4 years and i still feel his hands.

I’m over halfway there, i know it.

But sometimes I start to wonder.

Can i outlive these 7 years of hands?

I’m scared i’ll fall short.

I’m scared it won't end.

I’m scared the 7 years of hands will turn into an eternity.

But i cling to the thought that one day I will have a body he has never touched.