8:30 Withdrawals

When 8:30 rings out on my alarm i groan. I twist and drop two oblong chemically infested objects into my mouth. They sometimes melt on my tongue before i get a chance to wash them down. They tastes bitter. I roll my eyes as they roll down my throat into my acidic abdomen. It's been almost 4 years and every night at 8:30 i pop, groan, roll and repeat. I pop I groan I roll I repeat But i do not see how sustaining my mood in an artificial chemically induced pill makes it any better I get through the day I am normal But when 8:30 rolls around i realize I'm an artificial normal like almost every person i know I don't like it. On those silly nights i refuse to take them Or busy evenings I'm too stressed to notice I am retracted into natural emotions. Days go by and weeks fly Until i feel my head pound with fists that are unable to speak and let me know they miss my pills My limbs shake and fidget Trying to get my eyes to look at the stationary movement they no longer have My stomach twists like butterflies crying out for a calm that's no longer there. My throat gags when i try to drink and eat it away. Sometimes withdrawals make me angry So i fight them instead of giving in. But once my mood hits deja vu I know i must go back. Twist Pop Groan Roll Repeat W i t h d r a w a l Twist Pop Groan Roll Repeat W i t h d r a w a l Over and over. Lower yourself slowly they say But that takes too long I want it all at once Or not at all