A Numbers Game

I find I enjoy things With an almost Existential despair. A feeling of living Within a moment I observe from the outside. The satellite friend, I call myself: The other who can't be Included. Not excluded, Per se, But ever enjoined From joining; From "us". I will leave a group, And no one reaches out. No one says hello; No one asks, "How are you?" Because, out of sight, I'm out of mind. Mine and others'. As a social creature It feels alien Being altogether Alone. They say one Is the loneliest number. I say i. I knows what it is To be the imaginary friend. I knows what it means To be orthogonal To the real; To not play pretend, But to be. Or not to be. That is the question. I stares into the void And smiles In hopes that Someone might smile back. It's a lonely game Of cat. And I'm losing.