A.A

I can taste the bitterness on your tongue. Subdued alcohol.

I crave it until it drowns me.

Wash away my pain and take me with it.

I lose control too easily.

I drowned myself while trying to save you.

It’s Thursday. 7 p.m. Time for your meeting.

You’ve been to AA before and I have too but there’s no better addiction, than the feeling of you.

The real one. Not the one disguised behind all of the bourbon and pain.

Don’t you remember when we used to laugh until we cried?

Now, I sit on our peeled leather sofa and cry until I laugh.

False emotions are still emotions, even if they’re not real.

If I cry long enough, maybe my eyes will get tired and the tears will suddenly stop.

Like a faucet, they go on and off, with the same intensities and pressure.

That’s when I pour myself a drink to drown out the emotions until I can’t think.

Sweet, familiar, numbness. How could I forget that feeling?

I stare up at the ceiling until I fall asleep.

But when I awake, you will be gone.

Until next Thursday.