The ABCLGBT's

A is for “assholes”, who are homophobic of course;

Life already sucks, and they make it worse.

B is for “bi”, which doesn’t feel great:

You’re too straight for gay, you’re too gay for straight.

C is for “coming out”, which is scary as hell,

Some of us got lucky. But others… not as well.

D is for “disgrace”. Are you LGBT?

Do you hear that word from your family?

E is for “enough”, and that’s what I say

When people call me “faggot” just because I’m gay.

F is for “femme”, which I’d much rather be.

But I’m born as a male, so maybe I’m T?

G is for “gay”, which isn’t a choice

Some girls like girls, and some boys like boys.

H is for “hell”, and that’s where I’ll go,

Says the Catholic priest, who raped the boy down the road.

I is for “ill”, and please learn this lesson,

If you’re LGBT, you’re more prone to depression.

J is for “John”, who I think is hot;

I know I’m gay, but sadly he’s not.

K is for “Kyle”, who assumes I want to fuck,

But just being gay doesn’t make me a slut.

L is for “love”, which is very tough to find

Most men will hookup, then leave you behind.

M is for “money”, which puts food on your plate,

If your boss is homophobic, you’ll want to act straight.

N is for “no”, the lie we always told

When kids called us “gay” at 13 years old.

O is for “oppression”, which is bitterly mean,

Though things are better in 2019.

P is for “pride”, the parades and the flag,

The rainbow tattoos and the people in drag.

Q is for “queer”, which once was a slur,

But now it identifies him, them, and her.

R is for “respect” which few of us have felt,

Especially on Sundays, down in the Bible Belt.

S is for “straight”, they don’t have to come out.

But what if they did? Would their friends turn them down?

T is for “trans”, and they’ve got no luck.

Surgery and hormones? Expensive as fuck!

U is for “university”, to which my father kindly pays,

But he might stop if he finds out I’m gay.

V is for “virus”, the worst is HIV.

Did you see what happened to Freddy Mercury?

W is for “what?” That’s what my friends say.

I’m not a stereotype, so how can I be gay?

X is for “xans” and all the other drugs

That gay people use because we need more hugs.

Y is for “youth”, when we’re wild and free.

Don’t waste it being straight, if you’re truly LGBT.

Z is for “zero”. Now listen to me,

That’s how many people choose their sexuality.