Absent From The Body

I am physically not here 

The sound of my own heart I can’t hear 

From every tear that cascades 

Every fear once made 

I am absent from the body 

They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder 

but what if my vision becomes blocked by walls and boulders?

My insecurities become a barricade 

Hindering me 

Preventing me from becoming the full Bri 

So you ask me what am I, who am I without my smile as a filter              

I ask myself the same question as my reflection stares back at me 

I am absent from the body 

and I could see outside of me. 

I cannot accept myself for the mistakes I’ve made

and 

Sometimes I feel like giving up 

It seems like my best just ain’t good enough

I am a dark skin complected 

no make up wearing 

Thick thigh misses 

I am, more than my appearance 

I am extroverted 

I am, a reliable and dedicated individual who respects traditions and prizes responsibility

I am, known for my social skills, strong will and administrative abilities.

But, of course you can’t see that through a picture 

so here i am to paint a picture, no filter

I am flawed 

tummy bruised with burn marks and chicken pox

heart bruised with scrapes from others mistakes 

I feel trapped 

within my own self conscience 

  but nobody’ll believe I feel so self-conscious

Who ever said I was Flawless ?

All of the Flaws that me feel less

Will soon become the flaws that make me hurt less.

and I’I'll always remember 

even stars can’t shine without darkness