Abused with Substance

i can drown myself 

in alcohol

it never really

helps at all

no matter how much shit

i inhale through my nose

this shit doesn’t get better

which is something i wish

i didn’t know

so it’s like back to the drawing board

back to the knife

back to being so sick and tired

of living this painful fucking life

needles in my skin

pills down my throat

nothing to take away the pain

nothing to eradicate

the incessant crumbling,

of my broken fucking heart.