Academics

I’ve always enjoyed reading, writing, learning

But I’ve never enjoyed having to attend school

Ever since childhood, school has made me feel…

Inadequate, unintelligent, mediocre, misplaced

I don’t pick up on things as quickly as others do

But that doesn’t mean I’m not as smart as them

Although I struggle in school, I force myself to keep up

Not for a sense of accomplishment or self-sufficiency

But because I would be considered a failure if I don’t

For instance, take math--the subject I’m worst at

Algebra, geometry, calculus--things I’ll never use,

Things I have no interest in; things I force myself to learn

Others learn them with easy, within single class periods

I, however, stay in after class, stay up late at night,

Stay in the library during lunch instead of eat just to study

Once again, not in order to feel as if I’ve achieved anything

But because school has made me terrified of being a failure

Of the thought that if I don’t earn a diploma, my life will go nowhere

Even when it comes to art class--sketching, painting, creativing

Although I generally love art, I absolutely hate it at school

Because there’s a possibility that my creativity won’t be enough

That if my art isn’t up to someone else’s standards, I’ll fail

Even a course as simple as P.E. is stressful in school

All I may be doing is moving, running, exercising, but I could still fail

At this point, the only thing I like about school is being with friends

I enjoy talking to, working with, and bonding with my peers

Because school puts them under pressure as well, they’re relatable

Academics may make me feel as if I’m constantly under a microscope,

Being watched over by teachers to see when I’ll slip up and fail,

But I know my self worth, despite whatever my grades may be

A teacher stating that I “meet the standards” doesn’t represent who I am

Likewise, a teacher stating that I have “failed” doesn’t represent who I am

I am more than an academic career