ACCEPTANCE

ACCEPTANCE

Many of the greats and wise ones hath without end worded of independence,

To be as strong as the will of the Lanterns,

Unshakeable as the Pillars of Athens-

And brave hearted as the lions in the Books of the old Psalms;

Yet none hath inscribed of the scribbles of loneliness,

The silence of the ones that forever scream for thine acceptance,

Ye may not begin to comprehend of the thoughts to ever hold on to the shadow of someone,

To ask for a place in time, on thine dining table and to wallow naught in the distance,

To beg of the All Father to grant a companion for his now fallen son.

The tears on the inks I write on-

Shall be naught of the last to fall of mine eyes this night,

For I have yearned to shut my eyes for hours now; and yet by mine clock ‘tis already nigh to dawn;

Is this just? For a soul of a man to be so fallen, and out of will might?

I see the happy ones and I envy of them-

For they know naught the beauty of a place-

A place they have been found in and a place in the space, time hem;

‘Sit jealousy?

‘Sit envy?

Or ‘sit just the emptiness of a whole that I feel within me?

I walk amongst you every day and in the sea of you people-

I feel as alone as John in the wilderness,

What makes me apart from thee? ‘Sit mine skin?

‘Sit because mine face is of less social upbringing in history?

I stroll every day and I smile to all,

Yet, their faces turn aside from me and they ruminate to their own hearts,

“What a creep!”

Of this display have I for days and nights weeped;

Of no land hath I found of acceptance,

Not even in the equatorial African land I have for 20 years called home,

I try to fit in.  Be happy and funny, and I even don of the most ridiculous of pants,

Still none hath ever seen me as one;

I have wailed, weeped and wiened mine thews to their limits,

Even ones I called friends, “Wolfpack”-

They also shame mine presence amongst them,

Mine search for their graces hath gone through all the hurdles,

Yet, I’m still just the loud blabbing black buffoon;

Even love hath made mine mighty soul and heart prodigal-

The Indian on the phone at the other side of the window, the Russian speaker in the kissing game, the     pack member from the island-

All believe I exist naught,

Like I am as just a grain of sand;

I seek thine love and acceptance-

I plead not to be at thine distance.

To be one of thee do I ever strife so badly

Making of all the dumb and insensitive choices and sponging all of the flaws in,

For I have endured through the harshest of them all,

Racist puns, rejection plays and eternal damning;

Every day, in the hours of the night sun-

I stroll to part of the edge of the city of all the homeless and drunks,

I yearn to be one of them,

To be part of their clicks; their gatherings; their tipsy chunks,

‘Sit how life should be?

‘Sit how low mine will and self-image hath been becoming?

For the sake of acceptance-

I have now made of the gravest mistake, that I shall not get another chance,

Verily, I taunt thine mind naught,

For I have now been plagued; diseased; infected,

For on the Thor’s Day that the Mauritian and I last fought-

Mine soul drenched in tears as of the ghoul long dead,

For acceptance, I hath layeth in bed with one of mixed genders,

Yes! “She” had of the feminine skin, and pitch-

But also, she had of the penile organs of virile gorilla,

Oh! I yearn to control mine dishonor and degradation.  Life as they often call her, is a bitch!!!

I believe that is why I have lost mine place in society,

Like a plague fallen upon the land of Ramses the Pharaoh-

None shalt ever love me-

Not even if I knelt and bowed and begged for them to accept me so.