Ive done it again,
Let my heart speak before my mind.
Letting my mind wander further than I should,
But what can I do since it has a mind of its own.

It's the dark thoughts,
The negative thoughts,
The overthought thoughts,
The illogically frustrating thoughts.

I thought I wanted to be yours,
I thought you would be happy with being with me.
Being able to call me yours and hold on me like you have been wishing to.
But thats just the overthinking speaking.

I know you have a lot on your plate right now,
I know you have a life to live that doesn't involve me,
But I can't help but think that you just don't want me.
There goes the negativity speaking.

You were mine from jump,
Even though our meeing wasn't circumstancial.
Even though I thought I had the hots for another.
There goes the illogical speech.

Why is it that you don't want me as bad as I want you?
Why do I find myself yearning for your time, space, and attention?
Why are you making me crazy?
Am I truly going crazy, or am I just thinking of what could be?

Maybe I'm selfish,
Wanting my cake and eat it too.
The problem is,
I don't even have cake to begin with.

I didn't have the first one.
And even now,
I can't even get the second one.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
Am I going insane???
Am I losing my mind?

I can't help but hear you in the back of my mind.
Your tone of voice caressing my eardrums,
Filling my insides up with warmth.
The way I can't resist making the softest moan.

I can't help envisioning you touching me,
Loving me so sweetly,
So passionately,
And with so much love.

Even though I know the love is not real.
Even though I'm letting my imagination contraindicate my reality.
Now I know I'm going crazy.
Now I know its all your fault

But I still can't help but want you and only you.
I can't stop thinking about the way make me feel on the inside.
Well, how I want you to make me feel on the inside.

All i do know is that i need you out my system,
I need you gone from my head,
I need to not want you anymore,
I want to be free from you.

Because all this imagining I'm doing,
This false reality I'm living,
The fiction feelings that I want to feel,
Will one day be real.

One day,
It wont be negative thought,
Nor, dark thoughts,
Nor illogical,
Not even a single thought being reevaluated.

Because one day,
I won't have to wonder why you dont reciprocate my feelings,
My attention,
My space,
And my time

Because that one day will be the day,
That I will be free of your chains,
Free from your negative seed,
Free from all that I thought you made me,

But most of all,
One day,

I'll be free from my addiction.