Admittance of a Greater Fear

I stand in the midst of this madness

The deafening sound rings out like a siren

The silence it crushes my lungs I can’t breathe

But words still escape from my mouth.

I stand on my own two feet

I see with my own two eyes

The world around me the vision of a nightmare

While I am striving to live a dream.

The terror it comes engulfing my bravery

I am not one to never falter

My steps unsteady, unstable, they teeter

But still, I am moving forward.

It is not greatness, don’t give me that

Nor strength of will or perseverance

It is not something to be praised

Simply one fear more frightening than the last

…

Death.

…

Oblivion.

…

Being wiped from existence.

...

Things in my life I avoid like the plague

But these are not the worst to have

I choose one evil before another

Death itself is not so bad.

But the absence of life while you are living

The thought of meaningless stagnancy

Wasting away the hours you breathe

There is no greater injustice; I have no greater fear

Let me live the days I have

Feel the sun warm on my skin

Hear the breeze blow through the evergreens

And splash in running rivers.

Let me see my children’s smiles

Hear the joy in hearty laughter

Run the hardest when I’m tired

And be stronger than ever I thought I could.

Let me cherish every moment

Every little whisper of a second

Take in all that I can sense

And live a life without regrets.

But rather with remorse instead.