Afraid

I have never been so scared    

I feel so nervous and unprepared

I haven’t seen or talked to you in a while

I’d do anything to be with you; I’d even walk a mile

My dreams foretell scary events

I hope they are complete nonsense                                                    

Every day is like removing the band-aid of our cut open sisterhood

The pain only lasts a little but the scar is there for good

I yearn to share one more loving moment with you

Or we could spend the rest of our lives together if you wanted to

Even though we have gone our separate ways

I hope to love you for the rest of my days

I hate not being able to let go

Of the sister that once loved me; the true girl I grew to know

You are the reason I believe everyone lies

You are the one I secretly wish to despise

I wish for despise because you cause me never ending pain

It honestly hurts me to know we share the same last name

Finally there is something that needs to be said

Because it is constantly cavorting through my head

This is my last beg and plea

The question is..do you actually love me?