After the Turmoil

6:58

The pain settled in like a knife settles into skin. It was suffocating and yet it didn't feel real.

When the words "Daddy is not with us anymore" left her lips I felt the world eat me alive.

In our hearts we hope that the ones we love will live forever, but death reaches everyone.

I just didn't think my father would be in an arms grasp.

The days go on like clockwork. Wakeup, eat, don't think, give myself a distraction that gets me through the day.

However this is no match for the thoughts that swarm me at night. 

It's a bitter feeling that leaves me gasping for air. Memories of what was and what could have been plague me in the place of sleep.

These bitter feelings become sweet when I think about how my father would comfort me, or how he'd tell me that it will be okay.

The feeling hits me every night before I sleep and I'm reminded of it when I open my eyes.

They say there is no right way to grieve. Maybe this is true.

But I believe there is a right way to believe hes safe and okay.

I believe there's a right way to keep him close.

And that way is to simply remember his heart... and to know that I was and always will be in it too.